


Shattered Memories

by crowvo



Category: Left 4 Dead 2
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Infidelity, M/M, Psychological Horror, Therapy, unreality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-15
Updated: 2015-07-27
Packaged: 2018-04-09 12:45:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 29,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4349306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crowvo/pseuds/crowvo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, a car crash can be so catastrophic that the aftershocks of its trauma can be felt for years after the fact. (Based on the plot of Silent Hill: Shattered Memories)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Crash

**Author's Note:**

> The story loosely follows the plot of Silent Hill: Shattered Memories; if you've already played or watched someone play the game, then I'm afraid that you probably have this fic spoiled for you. I didn't find the game to lean too heavily on psychological horror, despite that being a staple of the series--so I might ramp that up; I'm leaving the tag in just in case.

New shrink, new office, same shit. Didn't matter how many he went to, none of them could help him with this. He was sure of it. At least this office looked cozier than the last one. Almost lived-in, in a way. All of the shrinks liked to have something in their office to show off: lots of books, pictures of their family, that sort of thing.

The hard liquor in the corner was a weird touch. Did the psychiatrist make it a point to drink on the job? Or was that more for the patients? Hardly seemed legal.

His attention shifted to the doctor as he came into the room. He looked too grizzled to be a doctor--but maybe that was the point. They always were looking for new ways to convince their patients that they _weren't_ just trying to force pills down their throat while raking in cash.

"Hello." He sat down in the much plusher looking chair, smirking; hell of a cocky smirk for a doctor. "My assistant's already filled out all of the paperwork, but that's just the formal shit. You can call me Bill, if you want. Or nothing at all. I've heard that you're not much of a small-talker."

_Wouldn't want to disappoint, then._

Bill leaned back, smiling. "Of course, that's fine. Straight to the point. I like that. Your records indicate that you've been to quite a few doctors in the area, and none have been able to help. But that doesn't say anything bad about you: just the fact that you've kept trying means that you obviously want to get better." He immediately raised a hand and shook his head. "I don't mean your orientation, calm down--there is _nothing_ wrong with a homosexual relationship." That same damned smile never even left his face. "However, I _do_ want to start there, with that relationship--if you don't mind. Tell me a little bit about it."

 

* * *

 

Nick met Ellis at a bar in town. Not the biggest bar, not the smallest. Ellis was already smashed, and Nick offered him a couch to sleep on until the next day. That Southern drawl mixed with the booze to make him an unintelligible mess, barely even coherent enough to get in the car. It was a _miracle_ that he hadn't puked all over Nick's car on the way; he didn't puke until the next morning, although Nick had enough experience with drunk friends to know how to prop him up just in case. It'd be a hell of a thing to wake up to some dead stranger on the couch.

He rarely made breakfast, as he enjoyed the coffee shop just down the street, but he was willing to make an exception whenever he had someone over for the first time. This was a rare occasion to begin with; he didn't even _know_ Ellis, hadn't even been flirting with him. But he'd seen a few people leering at the little guy, and it didn't take him long to notice when one of them tried to _drug_ Ellis. It wouldn't have been right to leave him there.

"Welcome to Jersey, kiddo." He smirked when Ellis finally staggered out of the bathroom, waving his coffee cup at the pot. "Probably won't taste that great, but, whatever. Want some toast?"

Ellis just staggered over to the little kitchen table, blinking up at him in confusion. "Uh...yeah?" He coughed, making a face at his own broken sounding voice. " _Shit_ , I ain't had a hangover like this in _years_."

Nick popped two pieces of bread into the toaster, pouring his guest a cup of coffee. "Well, you were drunk. _Really_ drunk. Surprised you're not dead, actually. Couple of guys were trying to score, I think one of 'em roofie'd a drink of yours." He noted the baffled look on Ellis's face. "Uh. It was a gay bar. Did you _not_ know that?"

" _S-shit_ , no." He rubbed at his forehead, lower lip trembling. "I just went to a _bar_ , I didn't think nothin' of it." Ellis looked up at Nick with wide eyes. "W-we didn't...did we?"

"No. Relax." Nick took out a plate for the toast, then offered Ellis the cup of coffee. He leaned against the counter and took a sip of his own. "You fuck a drunk stranger, you don't know what you're getting into." He grinned when Ellis choked on his drink. "Sorry. That was uh, probably a little blunt. But, I could tell you weren't from around here. You don't dress like a local--even without that accent, it's obvious. Oh." He paused to plate the toast, offering it to the kid. "My name's Nick."

"Ellis." He still sounded a bit in disbelief that anyone could be so blunt and open about their orientation. "My name's Ellis." He nibbled on the toast, just happy to have something in his upset stomach. "Shit..." Ellis clutched at his head, grimacing. "Sorry for the trouble, sir. I guess I wasn't thinkin' ahead."

Nick sat down across from him, frowning. "I guess not. What were you even _doing_?" Stupid question to ask; people go get drunk at random bars when they're upset. Kid was from out of town--probably a tourist that lost a ton of money at the casino or something.

But Ellis didn't answer right away, staring down at his cup of coffee with a grimace.

Nick didn't push it, leaving them in silence, save for the soft sounds of coffee being sipped and toast being chewed. Nick washed the dishes, then turned on the TV. Some morning news program; wasn't worth listening to, really. "I'm gonna shower, kiddo, and then I'll drive you back to the bar. You'll probably want your car."

"I ain't got one."

"What was that?" Nick was certain he was hearing things. He stopped in the hallway, looking back at the kid. Poor little guy was still sitting at the table, fidgeting in place.

Ellis cleared his throat, looking up at Nick. "I had to leave my truck at a train station. I, er, _well_." He scratched the back of his neck, suddenly looking very queasy. Nick just hoped that he wasn't about to puke again.

"I came out to my friends, 'cause I've known 'em all my life. They didn't react nice, wouldn't let me go back to work; my best friend owned the garage I was workin' at. Word spread to all my other friends, and my folks, too, and I woke up with a brick through the window and my truck all vandalized. Drove it to the station and hopped a train up here 'cause my phone was full of death threats, and I got scared 'cause I know my friend's daddy works at the po-lice station, and-" His breath hitched--just about the only thing that would've stopped his rambling. "This here's all I got, man. So jus'...drop me off at a hotel or somethin', and I'll figure it out from there."

Nick slowly made his way back to the table, sitting down across from Ellis once again. He couldn't catch the kid's eye now; little guy's shoulders were shaking like he was holding back tears. "How about we go to the store instead?" He smiled when Ellis finally looked at him. "You can stay on my couch until you get back on your feet. It's hard to start from a clean slate. If you feel bad about it, we can sort out some kind of rent for you to pay."

 

* * *

 

"No one would be cold enough to leave someone behind at a hotel." Bill leaned forward, smiling gently. "I suppose it's no wonder that a relationship formed from there. Living in close quarters with someone can lead to the extremes of human emotion in a _very_ short period of time. That's why some roommates become best friends, while others end their leases with restraining orders." He laughed; when he did, the wrinkles on his face pulled in such a way to make him look like a friendly old man, and less like a grizzled war vet. "Of course, I imagine that there was a _spark_ of sorts as well. Some attraction that was further nurtured by the environment. It's not enough to merely be living in the same apartment for a romantic relationship to form."

He let that linger, possibly in hopes of finding an answer. When none came, Bill simply leaned back again, chuckling. "I had you fill out a simple questionnaire when you first came in, and I must admit that I am impressed. No cheating, hm? Quite a lot of people these days cheat on their partners. Off searching for some _fire_ that always seems to inevitably fade from the little romantic boxes we place ourselves in."

If he thought that'd get an answer, he was _wrong_. The silence stretched out uncomfortably for a while, with the doctor crossing his legs and clasping his hands together. Eventually, Bill clapped his hands and sat up straight again, chuckling. "Well, I suppose we should move on, then. No one likes to waste money, and the clock is ticking."

At least the asshole knew he was expensive.

"I could ask for more detail on your relationship, but quite honestly..." Bill trailed off as he opened up the manila folder, leafing through an impressively thick amount of paperwork. "It looks like the other doctors that came before me dissected it all to hell. Plenty of trips to the carnival, lots of movies, even a road trip. A few fights--oh my, one where you didn't talk to each other for a week." His tone was absolutely _insufferable_. "But none of that really seems all that important to the _real_ issue here."

Bill tossed the folder aside, grinning when the paperwork within didn't all spill out. "I think those other doctors were trying to find something within the relationship itself that was broken. They wanted to just reach in and pluck out a single fight, or a single trip, and say _' **aha** , here is the problem!'_, didn't they? Well, I think we both know that if it were that simple, you probably wouldn't even need a psychiatrist."

He leaned in, the grin fading into something far more serious. "I think we should start with the incident itself. The car crash. Can you tell me about what happened?"

 

* * *

 

They'd been together for a few years, with each winter being relatively tame. Nick had to keep reminding Ellis that the winters could get _so_ much worse. Kept getting proven wrong when the worst snowstorm would barely breeze past a few inches of light, fluffy stuff that'd melt after a few days.

This was much worse than what even _Nick_ had been expecting. _Feet_ of snow on the ground, with more coming down. Visibility was poor. Worse, it wasn't _just_ snow. It was _ice_. Ice and slush. Ellis typically drove, but this time, Nick was driving; Ellis didn't trust his skills at driving in that sort of weather, and for good reason. He'd gone off the road when there'd been barely a dusting of snow the year prior.

But the storm was so harsh that not even _Nick_ could keep control of the car. They'd been just about to cross the bridge out of town when the car started skidding. Nick's teeth were bared as he tried to get control of the car, pumping the brakes just as he'd always done. In retrospect, he probably shouldn't have been going as fast as he was. The tires screeched when they hit a sheet of ice, the snow blown off of it.

When Nick came to, he realized that he'd crashed. Couldn't have been that severe, as he didn't appear to have any distinct injuries. His head was killing him, however. "Ellis?" He croaked, turning to look at the passenger side.

Ellis was gone.

His heart skipped a beat, quickly looking in the backseat. Kid wasn't back there. Nick kicked his door open and looked around. At least it'd stopped snowing. He found himself nervously kicking up nearby snowbanks, trying to find his boyfriend. " _Ellis?!_ " He worried his bottom lip with his teeth, head whipping around.

There was _no_ _way_ that Ellis had been thrown too far from the car. Ellis always wore his seatbelt--Nick didn't. If one of them should've been thrown, it was _him_. He glanced back at the car. Totaled. But the passenger side door was open. So Ellis got out of the car. _Why would he leave his boyfriend behind?_

Nick rubbed at his head. Pounding headache. _Jesus_ , Ellis could have a concussion. _He might be disoriented._ Nick went back to the car and popped the trunk, searching around until he found a flashlight. Rolling blackouts in the town meant that he couldn't always rely on the streetlights working. He'd rather have that than risk it. He looked around one last time, even shining his flashlight around for good measure. Nick dipped his head under the car to look, trying to ignore the sharp pain in his chest. Ellis hadn't been wearing more than a light jacket. It was cold. He pulled out his phone and called 911, breathing through his nose rapidly as he held back from tearing up. He needed to keep his cool.

" _9-1-1, what's your emergency?_ "

"Oh thank _God_ , I just got in a car crash, I-"

" _Sir? Hello?_ "

"Hello, yes, I got in a car crash-"

" _C.. **...**...up? S.. **..**..._ "

Nick tried to get his reception back, nearly throwing his phone when he couldn't. He had to keep an eye on it, see if he could find a better spot. He squinted at the bridge they'd been about ready to cross, then looked back the way they came. There'd been a diner back there--Ellis _might_ have stumbled back there. It made more sense than anything else, really. Nick started down the road, occasionally calling out to him as he scanned the street for any signs of his boyfriend.

He didn't have a good feeling about this.


	2. Officer

"What the _hell's_ going on with this storm?"

Nick stopped dead in his tracks, using his flashlight to trace the edges of the snowdrift in front of him. Massive. It had to be at _least_ fifteen feet tall, blocking off the road. It was no wonder that the streets were empty-- _no one_ would be out in a storm like this. _Christ, we were stupid. It wouldn't have been so bad to just stay home and ride this shit out. It's not like we didn't have enough stocked up in the fridge to last a few weeks._

He rubbed at his arms, feeling another twinge of something. Guilt, maybe? If he was cold, then Ellis must be _miserable_. Little guy couldn't handle the cold at all. Nick sucked in a deep breath, calming himself down. He needed to keep his head on track. Ellis was going to be fine. He just needed to get some reception and call the cops. Maybe an ambulance, too. Search and rescue. _Something_. They'd crashed at the edge of town, but it was still _town_. Surely Ellis would be fine.

While most of the stores were closed for the night--or for the storm, Nick couldn't tell which--the faint glow of a diner's sign drew his attention. Still open, still had power. Maybe had a phone to call the cops, if the landlines were still working. He stumbled into the diner; unsurprisingly, it was pretty empty, save for the-

Relief flooded over him. Police officer. Young, pretty, but the uniform and coat were a dead giveaway. Nick walked straight towards her table, still feeling tense even as she smiled warmly up at him.

"You okay, sir?" She set her coffee aside--still hot. She must not have been here long before he came in. Had she walked here? He didn't remember seeing her car. "Not a good night to be out and about, you know. Haven't seen a storm this bad since I was in middle school."

Nick usually would've been more guarded, but it was 2012, and she was young. He doubted that he could've stopped himself from saying it if he even tried, anyway. "I'm looking for my boyfriend."

That seemed to surprise her, but she waved to the booth across from her. "Take a seat." She waited until he settled in, eyes never leaving his face. It was unnerving, in a way. "Your boyfriend, go on."

"We were in a car accident." Nick hadn't even really checked what he hit. Just what the hell could've totaled their car like that? "When I came to, he was gone."

She blinked, concern etched on her face. "Maybe he went to get help? Is he pro-active like that? Sensible? I know some folks can really take charge in a crisis."

While Ellis did usually lose it over little things, he certainly wouldn't have made any choices that'd screw Nick over. _He probably saw that I was passed out, tried to call 911, couldn't get a signal, and went looking for help for me_. "Yeah, I think so." _I hope so._ "He's twenty-six. His name's Ellis" _That doesn't mean anything to a cop, I need to have some sort of ID for her to go by_. "Here, I have a photo."

Nick reached around for his wallet and pulled it out. He thanked his lucky stars that he'd been keeping that picture that they took at the carnival. As much as he _hated_ that childish shit, Ellis _loved_ it--and the picture really showed it. Hell, it'd even worn off on _Nick_ a little. He stared at the little picture, still in fairly good condition; both of them smiling just outside of the carnival's "Tunnel of Love". Cheesy shit, but the sort of thing that you do to kill a weekend with your loved one. He pushed it across the table to her, noting how she scanned over it.

"Cute." She smirked up at him, arching an eyebrow. "Nick? Your ID here says that you live on Norwood Street. That's just a few blocks from here."

_Norwood Street_...Nick almost smacked his head. "Yeah, that's where we live." Jesus, his head was killing him. How could he have forgotten that? _Goddamn wreck, I seriously hope I don't have a concussion._

Her smirk faded, concern replacing it just as quickly. "Uh-huh. Are you feeling okay, Nick? Headache, nausea, blurred vision?"

That was an understatement. "Bit of all of them. Do you think he went home?" That'd make sense; their landline wasn't dead yet, and if Ellis instructed the cops from their house, they'd have an easier time of finding the wreck. They didn't usually take that road; Nick was regretting it, now. It'd seemed like it'd be faster to cut through some of the side roads instead of hitting main street--in this sort of weather, you _really_ didn't want to meet other drivers on the road.

"Nick?" She waved her hand a little to get his attention. "Your phone?"

"My phone?" As soon as he said it, he heard the faint jingle. _Shit, I forgot that I left the damn thing's volume so low. I should turn it up._ "Right." He smiled, reaching for it out of his coat pocket. However, he'd barely answered it and put it to his ear before he heard a click and silence on the other end. Confused, he pulled his phone back to look at it. "They hung up."

She seemed sympathetic, looking him over. _Checking for injuries, maybe?_ "A lot of phone problems today. Storm's been _terrible_ today. Maybe that was your boyfriend?"

Nick pieced that together slowly. "He could be trying to call me from home." Possibly to check to see if he'd woken up before calling 911.

The police officer's radio buzzed to life. Nick was only half paying attention. Some potential looting on a street halfway across town. Apparently a pretty serious case of looting, given how they were calling for all units.

" _Shit_ , I need to follow this up." She looked a little irritated, but it was obvious how much it meant to her to do what she was told. She didn't look to be much older than her early twenties, maybe even younger than Ellis. Kids like that always were looking to prove themselves.

But Nick had a plan now, at least. "It's okay." He put his phone away and stood up from the booth, repeating that to himself in his head: _It's okay._ "I'll head home--I'm sure he's there." Ellis was better at directions, and as soon as he found the house, he'd probably called 911 himself. Maybe even took a hot shower to warm up while he waited for the authorities to help. Hell, maybe Ellis had called his phone because an ambulance had already swung by the car and found nothing.

She paused on her way out, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Tell you what: as soon as I'm done with this, I'll meet you over there." She squinted, briefly. "Norwood Street." He had a feeling that she was just trying to remember the street name, attaching it to his face in her head.

"Thanks." Most of his earlier concerns were gone now. This wasn't some weird, nameless town--this was _home_. While Ellis had only lived here for three years, the kid was fast at picking up on how to get places. Bright, too. Nick almost felt _stupid_ for assuming that Ellis would just be wandering around.

He heard her distantly say " _take care_ " as she left the diner. Nick considered lingering, just in case a waitress might step out--a coffee _did_ sound nice right about now. He pushed that thought aside as _stupid_ ; he could just get a cup of coffee at home. At least there he could be curled up with Ellis. This was a hard kick in the pants, at least. No more driving in harsh weather.

Once Nick stepped outside, however, he found himself feeling a bit more confused than before. This diner was just a few blocks from their house? _Really_? Even if they didn't normally drive down this way, Nick remembered going to this diner before. So how come he hadn't realized it sooner? The car crash, obviously. If he had a concussion, then he might need to go to the hospital--but he needed to find Ellis first. Even if Ellis was safe at home; he might have a concussion, too, and Nick would lose his _mind_ if the little guy died from his negligence.

He pulled out his phone as he came across another snowdrift, brow furrowing. Didn't take long to pull up a town map from there. "Back the way I came, I guess." He'd have to double back a block and cut across if he wanted to get home. Nick kept glancing back at the map, cursing himself for being so disoriented. He'd lived here for _years_ ; how the hell could he be so lost? He had to keep reminding himself that it was the car crash, but that was fast becoming less and less of a concern. He wasn't physically injured; that was what mattered right now.

Nick paused when his phone started giving off an odd static sound, glancing over at a bench. Funny, he didn't think that he'd ever been at this particular bus stop before, but he still felt compelled to take a picture of it. The instant that he did, he regretted it. The static stopped, but in its place was a hunched over figure. Shadowy. Unrecognizable. He took a few nervous steps back, but it faded away. It all happened so fast--he wasn't even sure if he should've been scared or if his eyes were playing tricks on him.

He glanced at his phone, but found that the map had been interrupted for a voicemail. _Shit_ , had Ellis tried to call? He put it to his ear, heart hammering away. All that he heard was a faint " _I need you_ "; so faint that he couldn't even tell if it was a guy or a girl talking, much less if it was Ellis.

Whatever.

Nick switched back to the map and continued on his way, shaken. Now the lack of people was starting to fuck with him. This was a small town, sure, but not _that_ small. Shouldn't there be at least _someone_ else out besides the police officer? The weather was bad, but that didn't mean that people wouldn't be out. Hell, the diner had been open, even if the waitress had been absent. He cursed himself for not checking for a cook, as oddly paranoid as that would've been.

He stumbled through an alleyway, squinting at the four corners he was at now. This area was honestly even _less_ recognizable to him, despite being so close to home. He'd never even _heard_ of half of these stores; or at least, he was _sure_ he hadn't heard of them. Nick slowed down, staring down at the sidewalk. The snow had fallen enough that he couldn't distinguish it from the road. No wonder no one was out--this was more than just unsafe.

As soon as he stepped towards the middle of the intersection, his phone started ringing. Nick checked this time; his reception was _great_. He put the phone to his ear, opening his mouth to say " _hello_ "--only for his blood to run cold as Ellis's voice came out in a rush on the other end.

" _You have to run--you can't fight them! **Run**!_ "

Nick had never heard Ellis say something with that much urgency before. "Ellis? Is somebody there with you?" His throat felt dry. "I'm coming to get you!" He strained to think of any old feuds that could have bubbled back to the surface. Any old goons or thugs that had a score to settle. That list was _disturbingly_ long. He pulled the phone away, realizing that Ellis had hung up. Or, possibly, the person with him had hung up. He swore under his breath, only for movement to catch his attention on the edge of his flashlight's beam.

Nick nearly dropped his phone.

Ice was _rapidly_ climbing up a lamppost, the bulb bursting before fizzling out. The entire thing bent forward, as if the weight of the ice was too much to bear. His eyes scanned around the area, flashlight lazily following along, as he watched this ice spread out all around him. It felt like a punch to the gut as the temperature plummeted, although the unnatural growth of it distracted him from the bitter chill in the air. The ground beneath him hardened so swiftly that he barely had time to process it, watching the soft snow freeze into thick, blue ice. He'd only ever seen ice like this once, on an Alaskan cruise. Now it was covering every inch of the four corners, including-- _holy shit._

Nick walked towards it in disbelief and awe. A massive pillar of ice, taller than even the two buildings it was between, had risen up out of the street. He touched it, confusion gripping him first. Fear came not long after. This wasn't normal. No storm did this. His thoughts were on the officer, briefly, concerned that she was out in this mess too--but he shoved that aside. She was a cop, she could handle herself.

How the hell would Ellis handle this?

And who the hell was Ellis afraid of?


	3. Home

He was starting to lose his composure. The ice coated every square inch of every building, every light fixture--hell, he could only see a few tiny pieces of metal that were still exposed. Doors were sealed behind thick layers of ice; he somehow doubted that his lighter could melt through it.

Nick's breath came out in a puff, frustration bleeding into his search. Was he trapped here now? There _had_ to be a way out. He was more than ready to start _climbing_ the goddamn ice if he needed to, even if that was well beyond impractical. Thankfully, that wouldn't be necessary: a single door remained untouched by the ice, possibly due to where it was positioned. The buildings around it might have taken the brunt of the storm's wrath.

Any thoughts about breaking into some unknown building were promptly squashed when the door opened with ease. He wasn't exactly sure where he was, or what the layout of the place was, but he did know that it was equally covered in ice. Strange, in a way; he was almost used to the bitter cold now. Water main break, maybe?

He walked next to an ice-coated wall--actually, on closer inspection it just appeared to be a particularly long section of an icy pillar. Nick was regretting sleeping through his science classes now; had anything like this been documented before? He reached for his phone, ignoring the rush of static as he tried to pull up his map again. He kept glancing up at the ice, hoping to see an opening in it so he could get back on track to getting home. As ridiculous as all of this was, Ellis could be in danger.

_Map's not loading up, Christ. At least I charged this piece of shit in the car._ Nick grimaced, then glanced back up. He could've sworn that he'd seen movement. Hard to tell with the way that the ice warped reflections.

A loud thump and scream made him step away from the frozen pillar, eyes widening. On the other side of it stood a man. A young man, maybe, but Nick was being generous already by calling it " _man_ ". Not when its entire body was featureless--a skinned frame of twisting, mottled flesh. No eyes, no nose, no ears, no mouth, no hair. No nails. It looked like some horrific doll come to life, shrieking and banging at the ice, head twisting and thrashing about.

Nick thanked _God_ for the thickness of that ice and started to run, keeping his flashlight trained on it. At least it wasn't trying to chase him on the other side.

Another shriek made him slow down, craning his neck and swinging his flashlight up. Another one of those things, several floors up in a building, banging on the window. _It's staring down at me._ He didn't know why he knew that--or how it even made sense, but he was sure of it. That blank face was pointed directly at him, chilling him to the very bone. _Ellis is out in_ _this_?

_Ellis...were these what you were talking about?_ He swallowed thickly, horrified. This one was following him as he ran, running on all fours like a demented beast, head constantly pointed at him. Nick found a door and slammed through it, ignoring the minor pain in his shoulder.

He found himself in an apartment complex; not the one he used to live in, but one that was definitely similar. Not that he was thinking about that--he needed to get the hell away from whatever the _fuck_ those things were. He could hear far more than just two shrieking, only now he could hear far worse sounds.

Doors slamming.

Each slam made the screaming sound closer.

Steeling himself, Nick ran into the next room, knocking the door down with his shoulder once more. Outside already, with not many options on where to go from here. A fence stood out as not being too hard to climb; Nick didn't have time to question if he even still knew how to jump a fence. Adrenaline would cover his bases on that one.

He regretted his decision mid-leap, as one of those _things_ was hunched over on the other side. It lunged at him, wrapping its too-long arms around his body. It felt colder than anything else surrounding him, freezing his joints to the point where it actually hurt to _breathe_ from the temperature drop. Nick thrashed against it, elbowing it hard in the head. It didn't have any claws, at least, relying instead on the cold of its body to try and slow him down.

Nick wasn't giving up to something like that.

Another elbow to the face sent it reeling off of him, the monstrosity writhing and thrashing on the ground, shrieking its frustration. Nick didn't wait around for it to get up; he ran into the next building without a single thought about where he was going. Now the place seemed to be _crawling_ with these things, all of them intent on chasing him. His chest burned as his lungs sucked in gulps of frozen air, exhaustion creeping up on him. Everything was blurring together; the screams, the ice, the locations. He jumped over something--only realizing two rooms away that he'd jumped over some sort of _gap_ , some tear in the ground undoubtedly caused by the ice cracking the Earth in two.

He burst through a thicker door, the door clicking shut behind him, and heard a _different_ sort of wailing coming from behind him. Nick stopped, turning to face the door. It sounded almost...frustrated? Could they not get through this door? He waited a few moments, studying the door cautiously. When nothing came through, he sighed in relief. He doubted that he could've kept running like that for much longer.

When he turned, he found himself staring at a house. Not just any house: _their_ house. It was tiny--quaint, in a way, but definitely tiny. All they could afford on their limited budget. He felt himself smiling faintly; a light was on. Ellis was home--and hopefully, safe.

 

* * *

 

"It's good that we've touched on the car crash. That might be a breakthrough." Bill stopped pacing around the room. His brow was furrowed, but he still seemed to be wearing that damnable " _doctor_ _smile_ ". He sat back down again, chuckling. "But let's leave that alone for a while. I want to talk about the relationship again."

Oh, good.

Bill smiled. "Just from what little you've told me, you two must have been quite the little family." He glanced over at the files again, this time only lifting the edge of the manila folder to look within. "It's important to you. Family is about physical affection and making your feelings known--that's more from what others have heard from you, of course. This is just our first session." He looked up, smile widening. "I _know_ that look; I'm talking too much, aren't I?"

No answer. Bill leaned forward. "That's fine. You saw me take out the colored pencils before, right?" He set them down on the table, then produced a picture. It was obviously a stock coloring book image of a house, but one that looked _just_ similar enough to their home to make his heart hurt. "I want you to let out your inner child and color this picture for me."

It was unnerving how Bill just patiently sat there, apparently content to listen to the soft scratching of colored pencils on paper. It was tempting to just write " _fuck you_ " on the paper and hand it back; see what that meant in a therapy setting. But it _was_ therapeutic in a way, coloring in the tree and the car.

Once he finished, he nudged the paper back towards Bill, watching as the therapist barely even glanced down at it. Infuriating.

"What a _lovely_ family home." Bill looked it over again, smiling warmly. "Is your home like this?"

 

* * *

 

 

Nick stood in front of his house, feeling the tiniest bit of warmth seeping back into him as he looked at it. The lights were on, and if he strained his ears enough, he could hear the TV. Some of the initial joy faded as he thought back to Ellis's panicked call to him. Were those monsters _in the house_? Or had Ellis been forced to flee to their home in a similar way?

He reached for his keys, only to swear and glance back. He must have dropped them back there when that damned thing grabbed him. Nick looked back at the house. Knocking seemed fine. Ellis would answer if he was home, and if not? Well, Nick could break in. It was _his_ house, after all. Maybe even call the cops and see if they'd help him get in.

Nick knocked on the door dutifully, trying to keep himself calm. He prided himself on always looking cool and in charge; Ellis seemed to think of him as an action hero or something. He didn't want his boyfriend to open the door and see him as a nervous wreck. He breathed in deeply, held it, then exhaled.

And then the door opened.

Nick faltered instantly. "What are you doing in my house?" He looked over the strange man in front of him. Pleasant looking guy--no way in _hell_ was it someone that Nick had crossed before, he'd never even _seen_ this guy before. He felt an odd knot in his stomach.

"I think you have the wrong address." The man smiled nervously at him. Older guy, with graying hair and a bit of a beer gut. Nick was straining to try and recognize him, in case he was someone that _could_ work for one of the old gangs that Nick had crossed paths with.

"No." Nick shook his head firmly. "This is _my_ house." And Ellis's house, too. Not some random asshole's house.

"Who's that at the door, hun?" An aging woman's voice echoed out from the living room, followed by the soft sounds of socks on wood flooring. The man was joined by a woman, her eyes raking over Nick curiously. "Oh, hi there!" She smiled, trying to be hospitable even as the man tried to shoo her away.

"What are you people doing in my house?" He said it a bit more firmly now, feeling bile rising in the back of his throat. Were these the people that Ellis warned him about? This pleasant looking goddamn husband and wife?

The woman shook her head, looking confused--and more than a little frightened. "This is our home--we've been living here for a long time! Isn't that right?" She turned to her husband, trying to glean from him _something_ about the stranger on their doorstep.

Nick glanced at the numbers beside the door, momentarily worried that he'd somehow mixed them up. He hadn't. "Two-oh-four Norwood Street. My name's Nick. This is my house." He looked at them, arms wrapped around each other, and felt ill. "My boyfriend just called me from here." He saw disgust in the wife's eyes and wished that he could take back saying it.

But the husband just rolled his eyes and said " _oh_ ", as if this was _normal_. "Honey, you think our son's doing prank calls again?" He looked at Nick with concern. "Our teenage son likes to make prank calls, try to freak people out."

"Prank call?" _Are they serious?_ "Why are you playing games with me?" Ellis was from goddamn _Savannah_ , Nick wouldn't mix him up for another man on the phone. How many people in Jersey had Southern accents as thick as his?

The wife smiled sympathetically--although it was laced with obvious fear. Some strange man was yelling at them late at night, after all. "Sorry, I wish we could help; it's very late--we'll make sure to tell our son to stop prank calling people like this before he hurts somebody."

Nick shook his head, horror in his eyes. He'd made a career out of gambling: reading tells was his livelihood. Neither of them were lying; and if they were, they were better than anyone he'd ever gambled against. "This...this doesn't make any sense." He felt his heart hammering--it was getting hard to breathe. " _Ellis_!" He took a step closer, hoping to hear his boyfriend locked up somewhere.

The husband held up a hand, nudging his wife back behind him. "Stop it, you're upsetting my wife."

Nick felt every ounce of frustration bubble up to the surface. "Get the **_hell_ ** out of my house." He spat the words out, teeth bared. After the shit that he'd seen, he wasn't about to let some weird squatters steal his home out from under him. He lunged forward, only for them to slam the door in his face. He banged on the door, his shoulder too sore to knock it down. "It's _my_ house!" He banged louder, snarling. "It's my _goddamn_ house!" He heard them walking away from the door. "Ellis!"

He backed away from the door, tears pricking at the corner of his eyes. He needed to do _something_. Could he climb up the back and see if he could get a peek of Ellis on the second floor? What if they had him in the basement? Christ, what if Ellis was _dead_ already?

The sound of tires crunching the snow made him turn away from the house finally. A cop car. Thank _God_. He moved closer, relief flooding him. Same officer. She'd understand; maybe she could even bust the door down.

She stepped out of her car, looking him over. "Nick." Her tone made his heart sink. Suddenly, he was aware of the scene he'd been making. Shouting, banging on the door. Even if the people in his house hadn't called the cops, a neighbor might have. _Shit_.

"A reported disturbance came through on dispatch. Funny, I knew the address sounded familiar." She put a hand on her hip, looking him over accusingly. He probably looked a mess, too, after all of that running.

Nick was determined not to back down; he knew the truth, and he was _certain_ that he could prove it to her. She looked smart. "Yes, there's been a disturbance. There are _people_ in _my_ house, I think they have my boyfriend." Especially given how disgusted that woman had looked. _Jesus_ , he'd thought people like that weren't this far North.

"That's a hell of an accusation, Nick." She looked a little bit concerned; Nick was bigger than her, after all, and he was acting a little aggressive. "I know the couple who called this in--the husband's a doctor, he doesn't have it in him to kidnap someone. He doesn't have your bo-"

"You _saw_ my license." Nick hissed, pointing at the house. "This is _my_ address. _My_ house."

She frowned. "Let me see it again." She probably wouldn't have even considered it if he didn't sound so sure of himself. She waited patiently for him to pull it out, taking it from him. "You've had an accident, Nick; you're a little bit punch-drunk, that's all." Her brow furrowed as she looked the ID over. "Look, I can't radio in with the storm like this. How about we go together and figure this out, alright?"

Nick normally would run as far away from the cops as possible; but this was about Ellis, and he didn't want to end up thrown in jail. He technically hadn't done anything that was illegal yet, so he couldn't possibly be under arrest. He needed to play it cool.

"Look, I'm sorry if I came across as a hard ass, alright?" She could tell that he was hesitating, probably nervous that he was under arrest. "There's a lot going on right now--I'm just bumping you up to my top priority for now, okay?" She smiled, waving to her car. "Come on."

He knew that it was just policy, but he still felt a little nervous when she let him in the back of the cop car.

 


	4. The Ride

"Listen, officer-"

"Just call me Zoey, Nick."

"... _Zoey_ , if anything happens to my boyfriend, I'll hold _you_ responsible." Nick didn't mean to have his frustrations slip out; technically, Zoey had been nothing but helpful to him. This, however, was making him uneasy. Why hadn't she just knocked on the door and asked to look around? If they had nothing to hide, they'd let her--old white couples always did. Instead, she had him in the back of her car, taking him up to the station. He was losing precious seconds, and who knows what they'd do to Ellis with that time?

"He's not in their house." She sounded so sure of herself. "I've lived in this town for the last eight years, and I've been a cop here for the last two years. I know this place and I know the people. I know the Richards; they wouldn't kidnap anyone."

Nick couldn't believe her--she was still defending them! "They're in my house!" She still had his wallet, for Christ's sake, surely she had to know from that!

"Are you _sure_ that's your house?" Zoey glanced at him through the rearview mirror. "You were in a car accident, after all. Maybe you're not remembering things so well."

"I haven't forgotten anything." Well, that wasn't true. "Some things are...a little fuzzy." Nick swallowed, remembering all too well how he'd failed to remember the shops that were so close to his own home. "But I _know_ my home. I _know_ that was my home."

She turned down a street--another one that Nick didn't recognize--and changed her tone to something a little bit more gentle. "What else do you know?"

"My name's Nick. I love my boyfriend more than I've ever loved anyone else." Nick drummed his fingers on his pants. "I used to be a gambler, but I quit after our first anniversary. Ellis is finishing up a degree--he's had trouble finding work as a mechanic." He exhaled. "I've started writing for the newspaper--shit to pay the bills, nothing fancy."

Zoey just sighed, stopping at a light. "Well, as I'm sure you've noticed while working for a newspaper: life's pretty boring. We'll find your boyfriend." She smirked at him. "Then your life can go back to being pretty boring again."

He returned the smirk. That he could agree with, at least; he liked an officer that knew when to talk shit. Put him more at ease than her fake-concern. Nick leaned back, closing his eyes. Maybe she was right--those people seemed too _nice_ to be kidnappers. When was the last time that he updated his ID, anyway? He was always shitty about that. He couldn't remember living in another house--but it was possible that it'd been a fake ID. He used to carry a ton of them when he was gambling. Had he swiped one of those on the way out instead of his real license?

"Nick, are you alright back there?"

There was that concern again. His eyes flickered open, meeting hers in the rearview mirror. "Yeah, I'm fine." _Shit_ , good thing she asked before he drifted off. If he had a concussion, then falling asleep now might actually kill him.

"I'm sure your boyfriend is okay." She took another turn, sounding a little bit on edge. The storm had quieted down a little, but it still wasn't something to sneeze at. "We've just go to clear this up--probably drop you off at the hospital, too, once we know he's alright."

He sighed. "I'm _fine_." Nick had a feeling that if it _was_ something more serious, he wouldn't have been able to outrun those things earlier. He considered telling her about them, but thought better of it. She already thought he was a little crazy; if he started talking about demented monsters roaming the streets and magic ice pillars, she'd probably put cuffs on him and lock him up until she could contact the closest loony bin.

"The brain's delicate, Nick; doesn't take much to get it messed up. You should get checked out at a hospital." She sighed, stopping at another light. "My dad...he thought he was tough. Like you, kind of. A couple of punks resisted arrest--it was something stupid, too, couple of kids trying to break into a shoe store. One of them headbutted him, and well, dad's never been the same."

Nick noticed that ice was slowly creeping onto the windshield. The temperature of the car was the same, but the exterior was apparently chilling faster than the car could thaw it.

"You've got to look out for yourself, you know." Zoey caught his eye again. "For your boyfriend's sake. It's a hell of a thing to lose someone that matters to you." She leaned forward, obviously trying to look around the ice on the windshield. "Damn, this storm is crazy." She snorted. "I can't see the road."

Zoey stopped the car, glancing back at Nick. "Wait here; I'm just going to check where we are. See if we can't walk the rest of the way."

Nick watched her leave, feeling his toes clench in his shoes. More time wasted. If Ellis wasn't in that house, then he could be anywhere. Hell, he could even be staggering around to their _real_ address, lost in the snow. In this sort of weather, it wouldn't even be _hours_ before Ellis would fall down.

_That settles it._

It wasn't the conman's first time breaking out of a cop car, although this time it was stupidly easy. She hadn't bothered to lock the door on her way out, and this was the model of cop car that he liked--easy access to the front. Nick hopped into the passenger's seat, then crawled over to the driver's side. No keys, but it wasn't like he would even _attempt_ to drive in this shit--even if her windshield _wasn't_ frozen rock solid.

He opened the door and stepped out, ready to deal with her wrath--although really, for how much she'd been boasting about knowing this town, it shouldn't have taken her _that_ long to figure out where they were. But right off the bat, he found himself in an entirely new, entirely horrific situation.

The back half of the car was covered by snow. _Jesus_ , how had he not felt that collapsing on the trunk? Nick blinked against the snow, reaching for his flashlight. He'd assumed that this was a part of town that'd experienced a blackout--but it was _much_ worse than that. They were out of town. Made sense; he didn't remember the police dispatching from the town itself. Still, he had no clue where he was. Just some road that lead to town--and the road was blocked off. Walking back the way he came would certainly be suicide.

There was, however, a little cabin off to the side of the road. Still had a light on, too. Maybe Zoey was in there? Either way, it beat waiting out in the car--especially if the car was slowly getting buried in the snow. He hopped the little fence, already mostly buried itself, and headed up to the cabin. Some sort of visitor center? Had to be the woods just outside of town, then. Nick'd only been there once with Ellis. There wasn't much to do beyond hiking there.

_Shit_. The door was open, but no one was inside. He grimaced, looking around. Lights were still on, cabin was still warm. Someone had to have been in here. Even if it was just Zoey coming through. Nick walked to the back and found that the back door was unlocked. _Shit, shit, shit_. If there was one thing that he'd never wanted to do in his entire life, it was walk through the woods alone at night. Nothing creepier--and what if those things were out there, too?

He steeled himself and headed out. For Ellis's sake.

 

* * *

 

 

Nick hadn't been wandering for long when his phone rang. He expected to see Ellis's name on the screen. Instead, he saw Zoey's. _Oh, fuck_.

" _Nick_?"

He licked his teeth and swallowed, flashlight scanning the trees. "Yes officer?" He paused. "What's going on?" _Odd_ that she hadn't considered calling him until just now.

Her tone wasn't quite as friendly as his own. " _I'm looking for you. Where the **hell** did you run off to?_ "

Nick started walking, crossing a small, rickety bridge. "I'm in...some woods." Some woods that he couldn't even remember the name of. He didn't know if he should chalk that up to the accident, or to the woods themselves being incredibly bland.

" _You just ran from a police officer_." Her matter-of-fact tone made that sink in immediately.

" _What_? Come on." He hardly thought that was fair! She'd left him behind in the car; who knows how long he would've been stuck out there? What if the car was swallowed up by snow? He wouldn't have noticed it inside of the car, not when all of the windows were frozen rock solid. "Look, I _need_ to find my boyfriend." He said it as clearly as he could. " _Christ_ , I'm not under arrest, am I?"

" _Nick. Get yourself back here right now_." Her voice sounded oddly distant. Reception was getting shitty again. " _Don't make this harder on yourself_."

His eyes fell on a sign out in the woods. A sign that made him smirk. "I'm heading back to town." Nick hung up--damn the consequences, he'd just tell her that his reception cut out if she tried to start anything. According to the sign, he only had a two mile walk out in the woods in the middle of the night in the worst snowstorm of his life to make it back to town.

_Easy_.

Nick spotted a truck next to a decrepit old cabin and had an idea. Sure, driving in this shit was dangerous--but if he took his time with it, he could probably coast out of the woods, then ditch it and walk the rest of the way. He slipped into the cabin, finding that it looked more like a garage of some sorts. A garage with a creepy little hole. That made him pause, brow furrowing. It was just about the size of a well, although it being _inside_ of a building stirred up bad memories. Namely, Ellis making him watch " _The Ring_ ".

He took another step towards it, curious, although more to sweep the area to see if it had any keys. Each step forward filled him with dread in an ugly way; he knew that as soon as he got close enough, he would want to peek down with his flashlight. See if some Exorcist chick was standing in the bottom grinning up at him or something.

His phone was making that same static sound that it'd made when he'd taken a picture of that bench. What had that been, anyway? A ghost? Nick never was a fan of paranormal shit--but he'd have to save the photo to show off to Ellis. Kid had a thing for it; he'd probably squeal and ask if Nick found anything else while he was out.

Before he could even consider taking his phone out, his attention snapped back to the well. Faster than he could comprehend, a shadowy figure lunged forward--it hadn't been in the well, but it'd been in front of the well. Nick jolted back, but it was gone already. Gone, with nothing but ice in its wake.

Nick watched in horror as that same ice from earlier crept across every nook and cranny of the garage. He swallowed, briefly glancing at the well. A huge chunk of ice had risen up out of it, making it impossible to even look in. _So much for that._ He nudged the door open and headed back out into the woods, heart sinking. The truck was equally frozen over. It didn't even look like it had _doors_ anymore; it was just one big chunk of ice.

The truck quickly became the least of his worries. Apparently, the _entire forest_ was frozen over. Every tree had that same blue-ice from before coating every branch. The temperature had plummeted again, too.

And all around him, he heard the same shrieking sounds of those horrible monstrosities from before.

 


	5. Woods and a School

Nothing about the woods looked the same to him now. _Obviously_. The trees almost seemed _thinner_ than before, as if the ice was squeezing down on them and suffocating them. The snow had been packed down under the sheer weight of the ice. It was darker, too--he didn't know how that was _possible_ when it'd already been pitch black. A quick glance up told him why: the clouds were totally obscuring the sky. Not even the moon was visible. Nick swallowed thickly and started into a jog, flashlight sweeping the woods.

Nick's heart was hammering. He couldn't see the monsters, but he could _hear_ them--and their cries were carrying. He couldn't pinpoint where they were. Just as before, the ice was splitting the Earth; at least now he had enough sensibility to keep an eye out for it. He jumped one of the gaps, staggering as he nearly lost his footing. Ice wasn't exactly the most cooperative surface to be running on in the first place. A raised section of land caught his eye; some cabin overlooking the path.

He reached for the ledge to pull himself up, only to feel four hands gripping at his arms. Nick shouted when he was yanked back; this time there were two of the bastards, with one of them clinging to his back and the other yanking at his arm. He was grateful for his jacket now--even through several layers of clothes he could feel them chilling to the bone, their shrieking jeers nearly rendering him deaf.

He fell backwards from the weight of one of them, his breath escaping in a rush as he felt even more cold seeping into him. He could see more of them coming, and with that a new rush of adrenaline surged through him. He kicked one of them off, then twisted his elbow to slam the other's face into the ground. It eventually let go, allowing him to struggle back onto his feet. The cold remained even as he scrambled to grab his flashlight and leap up onto the ledge. Nick turned to look at the monsters, feeling his stomach do a flip as he caught sight of them.

Their flesh was even more mottled than the ones in town. Flayed in some spots, with both of them writhing on the ground and banging their festering, bloated heads against the ice. Throwing _tantrums_. He took a horrified step back, watching the skin peel from one of them. That was all he could stomach before he went running, breaking the cabin's front door clean off its hinges.

The cabin, just as the woods and the garage, was frozen top to bottom. Nick didn't even slow down, bursting out of the back door. His shoes skidded on the ice as he turned on the forked path--left, always left. He knew that the sign had pointed this way, he just had to remember to keep heading left. Would it even be safer in town? Maybe. There were parts of town that were safe, at least. And Ellis was still there, somewhere.

Nick burst through another building; a warehouse of some sorts. Were there warehouses out in the woods? Couldn't be. He shoved another door open, wheezing--those damned things weren't as close as they had been, at least. He tried to remember if there were any warehouses on the outskirt of town. Possibly? He seemed to recall a fairly large one along the road, not too far away from the high school.

His leg snapped forward to kick the next door open, his shoulder aching too much to so much as attempt to batter another door down with it. Instantly, he was blasted with a bitter wind and snow, forcing him to squint. Back outside again, at least. But it was more than that.

It was _day_.

Before he could even try to process how he'd possibly been out in the woods that long, a different sight greeted him. The old bridge by the school, twisted and warped by that ice...was fixing itself. Bending back into its correct position, the ice receding as if the temperature had spiked by sixty degrees. Nick watched, transfixed by the unnatural sight. He almost didn't even notice that the harsh burn of those monsters was slowly fading away, leaving him with nothing more than the faint taste of copper in his mouth from when he'd bitten his tongue in the fall.

His heart was _still_ pounding as he headed over to the bridge. It looked sturdy enough--and he _really_ didn't want to linger to test that theory. Nick ran across, glancing back to look at the little warehouse he'd fled from. Funny; it looked smaller now. He pulled out his phone, nervously dialing Ellis's cellphone number. Nothing. _Shit_.

"Ellis? I don't know how great my reception is now, but, I'm looking for you. Please call me if you can, kiddo, I'm worried half to death." Nick didn't know what else to say, ending the message there. He felt queasy now that the imminent threat of...whatever those things were wasn't looming overhead. He'd been out _all night_. If Ellis was still out in this storm and hadn't found shelter? He was dead.

Nick wasn't about to give up hope. His boyfriend wasn't the kind of guy to just lay down and die in a storm like this. Kid probably went to their actual house. Or hell, he just found someone willing to help him. Maybe even went to a bar. Ellis had a hell of a pout, too--he could convince just about _anyone_ to help him.

_Shit, the road's blocked off_. He looked around, teeth chattering. _**Fuck** this cold_. Nick spotted a hole in the chain link fence nearby and crawled through it. Had to stop and rub his hands together just to get the feeling back in them. There wasn't even the _illusion_ of a path anymore; this was just a snowbank that was slightly smaller than the one blocking his path. At least he could see the town's high school up ahead.

His phone rang, startling him out of his thoughts. That officer again. _Shit_. "Zoey?" He cleared his throat, trying to keep a somewhat innocent tone to his voice. He didn't need her trying to arrest him right now.

" _I've been trying to get through to you. You had your phone turned off?_ "

Nick frowned. He hadn't shut the damn thing off since he got out of his car. "No, I just...I guess the reception was out." Not really all that surprising. It wouldn't have been that great in the woods to begin with.

" _Nick, are you okay?_ "

" **Yes**." He felt himself getting irritated again. _Jesus_ , what did she think? His boyfriend was missing, possibly dead, and he'd been in a car accident. And those...things, too. Did he _sound_ okay? "I know where I am. I'm at the high school."

She seemed to hesitate--did it surprise her that he'd made it back to town on his own? " _In weather like this, they usually use the gymnasium as an emergency shelter. I want you to head over to that right now. Your boyfriend might be there._ " She paused again. " _I'll meet you there._ "

"I'm going." Not like he had many other options to begin with. "But if he's _not_ there--I'm going. I won't wait. I just _can't_." Nick hung up, sighing.

He headed towards the school, hugging himself in an attempt to stay warm. It'd probably still have power--he hoped, anyway. It looked like it'd been renovated recently; not that he cared. It was a school. Not exactly a place that he would regularly visit in the first place. Some tiny part of him hoped that Ellis had ended up there if there was an emergency shelter within.

 

* * *

 

 

"So we get to the halcyon days of high school." Bill leaned back in his chair, holding his hands up. Of _course_ he would want to talk about high school--therapists _loved_ talking about it, and he'd been dumb enough to bring it up on his own--even if it _was_ tangentially.

He clapped his hands together, arching an eyebrow. "When I was first starting out, the popular theory was that someone's parents screwed them up." Bill leaned forward conspiratorially, smirking. "But if you _really_ want to screw a person up? Send 'em to high school."

Bill's eyes narrowed, looking him up and down. Judging how he was dressing? _Seriously_? "I bet you took school seriously. Nice folders and neat workbooks." He seemed to sense that what he was saying was touching a nerve--he leaned back and held his hands up, shaking his head. "Okay, let's move on."

"You looked very interested in these cards, but you didn't want to look closely." He grinned, leaning on one elbow. "Didn't want to _spoil_ the surprise, huh?" Bill seemed to be having a bit _too_ much fun with this. Either that or he was changing his tactic. "Well, each card has a class on it. Pick out the ones that'd be a 'perfect' school day for you."

Well, this challenge looked stupid.

_Christ, this looks like a lesser of two evils sort of challenge. I guess I'll place down Football, Science, Theater, and Basketball. That beats the hell out of the other choices._

"Done?" Bill smiled when their eyes met. "Nice." He waved at the selections, chuckling. "If that was all there was to it, it would've been a breeze, wouldn't it?"

When he didn't receive a response, his expression grew sinister. "Come on. Let's talk more about the _bad_ stuff that happened at school."

 

* * *

 

 

If the school was being used for an emergency, it certainly _wasn't_ on this side.

Nick had to break a door down; the lack of an alarm made him wonder if this school had actually been renovated, or if it'd just been the football field that'd been renovated. Judging from how the place was pitch black, he went for the third option: power outage. Nick reluctantly switched his flashlight on and started walking down the hall.

This was some back part of the school, with lockers. Possibly the art wing? He couldn't tell. He'd never been in it before. How many years had it been since he'd even _seen_ the inside of one of these? His mouth twitched as he nudged some cardboard aside. _Filthy_. They probably put it down so people wouldn't track slush in the halls. Seemed like your usual low budget solution in a public school.

He slowly made his way through the halls, nervously checking his corner and every windowed room. After everything that he'd seen up to this point, this was frightening him a little. Nick clicked his teeth together, trying to walk quietly. At first, he avoided the cardboard--then he realized that it might soften the sound of his footfalls.

It wasn't _quite_ paranoia. Part of him wanted to strain his ears for even the tiniest sound of people talking. If he found even a janitor, he'd be able to ask about any sort of emergency evacuations. He'd be lying to himself if he tried to pretend that he wasn't afraid of those monsters, either. Each time that they touched him, it almost felt like asphyxiation.

_Gymnasium. Awfully quiet in there for an emergency shelter. Shit._ Nick stepped inside of it nonetheless. It was unlocked--that had to mean _something_ , right? He looked over in the corner. Tables. Some sort of party? Lots of pictures, too--looked like pictures of faculty and some students. Probably some stupid event.

His attention snapped to the stage-- _a stage_? It looked like it'd been setup for the event. But that wasn't what caught his attention. It was the soft, lilting music that was coming from an old boombox; looked like it was school issue. That hadn't turned itself on.

When a young woman stepped out on stage shyly and started singing, he didn't know what the _hell_ to make of it. He debated what to say--after all, he was a grown man, and she clearly looked to be a high school student. 


	6. The Missing Pieces

She had a pretty voice, at least. It was when she finished singing and the song faded out into white noise that he realized that he really needed to make his presence known. Nothing creepier than an adult male watching a young teen girl sing in the dark, right? Nick awkwardly started clapping, trying to look as unimposing as possible, even when she squeaked and stepped back.

"Uh, sorry if I interrupted you." He held up his hands, looking around the empty room.

She just smiled, sighing in relief. "I, I didn't know anyone else was in here." She shyly started wringing her hands together, keeping her distance.

_The emergency shelter, right._ Nick coughed. "I'm looking for an emergency shelter? I guess-"

"-You're not here for the student-faculty dance?" She looked surprised. "It's a pretty big deal at this school, you know. Something to make teachers feel more like our _friends_ , I guess. I just thought you were a new teacher!"

"Uh... _no_?" Was she crazy? Had she looked outside lately?

Her smile faltered. "Just my luck." She shook her head, then hopped off of the stage. "Did everyone else get the message except for me?" She stumbled; heels weren't exactly built for that sort of jump. "Not exactly graceful."

Nick shrugged. "Lacking in finesse, but, ten for effort."

"Well, who are you, then?" She placed a hand on her hip, looking up at him. Funny, she looked little bit like Zoey.

"My name's Nick. I'm uh, I'm looking for-" _Maybe it wouldn't be a good idea to tell a kid that he's my boyfriend. High school kids are shitty about that._ "My friend. He's missing--I was _convinced_ he'd be here."

"Is...he a teacher?" She tilted her head; it probably didn't make much sense to her for him to be looking here if he _wasn't_ one.

"No, no. He's twenty-six and getting a degree. His name is Ellis." It was funny to even _think_ of Ellis being a teacher. How many kids would even taken him seriously?

"Ellis? There's a teacher here with that name. I never had a class with him, but I know he's popular." She looked around the room, possibly noting that Nick was acting a little weird.

"Must be a different guy, then. Like I said, he doesn't even have a degree yet." Nick couldn't stop her from grabbing his hand and leading him out.

"I'll show you, come on!"

Well, he didn't really have the heart to tell a kid to fuck off. Besides, this'd been a wash, anyway. It'd be better to just look at the teacher, dismiss it as a coincidence, and keep looking. Sort of odd that two guys would have that name--he didn't think of it as common.

She stopped in front of the wall of photos he'd seen earlier, then pointed at one of the photos. "See, here he is!" She looked at Nick. "You said he ran away?"

Nick scrutinized the photo, squinting. "No, we were in a car accident." _This is a weird picture._ There were some similarities. Not many. Ellis didn't have black hair, for one. Same eyes and mouth--that was a little hard to ignore. No scar on the nose. In fact, this guy looked to be much _older_ than Ellis. _A relative, maybe? What the hell would one of Ellis's relatives be doing up here? Black sheep of the family, maybe. Strange._

"No, that's not him. This guy looks to be almost forty, for Christ's sake." That put Nick at ease, somehow. He hadn't forgotten that much about Ellis. If it'd looked exactly like him? Nick'd be screwed. It'd mean the accident had fucked up his brain enough that he wasn't even remembering how long he'd been with Ellis.

The girl patted his arm. "You know, we can check it out in the computer lab. All the teachers have their names and addresses listed on the school's website. Maybe we can see if the first name, last name, and face match?" She craned her neck to catch his eye, trying to reassure him.

"Yeah...I guess." He didn't see the point, but...he found himself doubting his memories. Nick followed after the student dumbly, feeling sickly once more. That looked like an age difference of nearly _ten years_. Had the crash shattered his memories to the point where he couldn't remember anything beyond that? A ten year difference would explain why there'd been strange people in their house--hell, it might even explain why half those shops weren't familiar.

She sat down at one of the computers--a little old for a newly renovated school, in his mind, but at least it worked. He watched her scroll through the school's website until she hit faculty. Once again, the older Ellis greeted him.

"It...it _is_ him." Nick's brow furrowed. Same last name--when had Ellis dyed his hair? Had it been some school-related thing? _Shit_ , that meant Ellis _had_ finished his degree and actually became a teacher. A science teacher, at that. Nick was beginning to feel that the gap in his memory was much more significant than he'd initially thought. "Wait... _Vernon_ street?" Holy shit. "Why would we move there? That's _not_ a great neighborhood." They hadn't been living in the best part of town, but _there_? Spiked crime rates, slow cops, gang activity, prostitution... _Christ_ , it wasn't the _shittiest_ part of town, but it was a part that Nick had been careful to steer Ellis away from. Little guy was a little too bright-eyed and innocent; people on that street'd tear him apart.

He grimaced. "I guess the cop _was_ right. My ID was old. _Shit_..." He clutched at his head. "What _else_ did I forget?" Had they hit the skids? Did Nick get fired? Rent go up? It all drew a blank in his head in the _worst_ way. Nick glanced over at the girl. She didn't look afraid--more concerned, really.

"There's a number there--maybe try calling it?" She smiled, pointing to it. _Look, kid, I'm not **that** out of it. I know what a phone number is._

Nick pulled out his phone, sighing. "No reception in here. I'll walk out and dial it, 'kay?" He paused, smiling. "And-- _thanks_. This beats the hell out of running in circles." He hadn't really known what to do until this point. At least now he had an address. Was it possible to have amnesia like this? He didn't know.

He walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him as the phone rang. Someone picked it up, and his heart fluttered. "Ellis?"

His head snapped back when he heard a woman's voice.

" _No, this is Rochelle. You want me to find him? Who's calling?_ "

"It's his **_boyfriend_** , Nick." He tried to process that name. Rochelle? Who the _hell_ did they know with that name? "Is he okay?" Why are you at his address?

"... _Nick_?"

"Is he okay?" He repeated it again--was this chick drugged out of her mind or something?

" _Who the **hell** do you think you are?!_ "

"Sorry?" Shit, she _definitely_ was on something. He felt a lump in his throat. Ellis must have let some drugged-out chick in the house, probably worried about her well-being. "What's the-"

" _Leave me alone!_ "

The static that'd been ever-present throughout the call grew overwhelming, forcing him to look down at his phone. _Shit_. Lost the connection. That sense of urgency returned--his boyfriend was alone with some druggie; she was probably harmless before, but now she _definitely_ sounded like she was crashing.

Nick felt a chill and blinked, looking back up from his phone. His mouth ran dry. _Ellis...what the **hell** is happening to me..._

That ice had been spreading the entire time. He turned to open the door and get the girl--but the door had completely frozen over. _Shit!_ Nick pounded on the ice, horrified. Was there even another way out of there? What if that girl was trapped now? He heard the shrieking of those things--different than before, almost as if they were screaming through gags. He stepped away from the wall, guilt overridden by fear. "I'll find help!"

_Bullshit_. What help was he going to find?

Nick burst into the connecting hall, nearly tripping over one of the demented little things. Its head was less bloated than the ones in the woods; sharper looking, in a way. The skin was peeled back more, revealing tendons and muscle that still had a bright, pinkish-red hue to them. He didn't know why that was _worse_ \--healthy skin, still falling apart on its own, instead of a disease causing it.

He'd at least caught that one off guard, as it wasn't able to scramble up to grab him fast enough. He ducked away from it, racing down another hall. Strange, the high school didn't even seem to have _close_ to the same layout anymore. Too many halls, too many open areas, no classrooms.

He knocked over a lone locker, hearing one of the creatures fall over it with a muffled squeal. Nick had to keep that in mind: they weren't very good at getting over obstacles. He shoved one aside before it could grab him-- _Christ_ , half of its body was covered in massive, warty tumors. Its face was even wrinkled up, almost like it had a brow, despite having no nose or eyes.

But all he could think of was that poor girl--he hadn't even caught her name. She was trapped in a room. Well, at least they couldn't get her in there, right? That seemed sound enough in his head. And what about that Rochelle chick? She had to be some random chick--it's not as though Ellis would ever cheat on him. Even if he did, it wouldn't be with a _chick_. Ellis was gay.

Funny how little his mind was on those monsters now. They seemed so distant now that he was throwing down locker after locker to keep them at bay. Even with the impossibility of the size of the school, he didn't question it; everything seemed different when you were afraid and pumping with adrenaline.

This looked like the front of the school, actually. Nick slowed down, flashlight focusing in on a banner. The monsters were all so far back that he could barely hear them. Beneath the banner was a picture of some science club, with Ellis--this older Ellis that Nick barely recognized, smiling with a bunch of students. It didn't jog any memories, but he made sure to store it away in his head. If he walked in and saw Ellis, he had to be clear about the gap in his memory. He probably needed a trip to the hospital, too.

He pushed the front door open and found that the ice hadn't spread outside. It was night, too. Had he really been running around all day? It hadn't felt like it. It'd felt like an hour, tops. _Shit, maybe I should have listened to that cop. My head's all screwed up if I can't even keep track of time._

"There you are!"

Nick turned. It was that student. She didn't look winded at all. Looked pretty laid back, in fact. Had she slipped out another way and missed those monsters altogether? Could she even _see_ them? Nick considered walking to the goddamn hospital, but pushed that aside--he needed to know that Ellis was okay, first.

"I was about to head off, thought I'd stay a little while longer." She smiled when he thanked her, then stepped towards him. "Are you okay? Any luck getting him on your phone?"

He shook his head. "It didn't make any sense on the phone." Some chick picking up, even though that was the number on the school's website. "I need to go there."

"The Vernon street address?" She arched an eyebrow, looking out at the snow-covered street they were on. "That's across town--you can't walk that distance."

Nick almost wanted to correct her--he absolutely could and would. But, if she had a better way, he was all ears. "You got a car?"

She hummed. "I was planning on getting a ride with my dad, but...my boss's SUV is nearby." She noted the look on his face and laughed. "I'm looking after it while she's on vacation. It's over at the club that I work at--much, _much_ closer than Vernon street. I could give you a lift."

He felt relieved; an SUV probably had better traction than his own shitty car. "That'd be _great_. Lead the way." Nick smiled, although his smile faltered as he watched her walk through the snow. Heels and a dress? That couldn't be great feeling. "Do you, uh, want my jacket? You look cold." He followed after her.

"I'm fine, really, you keep it." She turned to look back at him, laughing. "You had a freaking _car accident_ , dude, you need it more than me."

No argument there.


	7. Rochelle

"So uh, you work at a bar?" Nick wondered if the kid was craftier than he'd thought; maybe she used a fake ID. It wasn't as though they let underage people work in bars.

She laughed, looking back at him. "It's a club--that's _different_. I sing there. Sometimes they serve drinks, I guess, but never on my shifts." She smirked at him. "My dad would totally kill me if that was the job I was working." She cut through a park, shivering only a little as the cold worsened. "It's just a temporary thing, anyway--we needed some extra money to pay for dad's medical bills."

_Jesus_ , he did _not_ envy the sort of living situation that lead to this nonsense.

He just let her ramble on about her dad--and the more she did, the more that he was convinced that she had to be Zoey's little sister. Dad was a cop, dad's had mental issues ever since a work-related incident, dad has to go to the hospital frequently, and their health insurance doesn't completely cover it. Nick didn't bother asking for any elaboration--or even her name. He had to stay focused on Ellis. If he was having memory issues, then he couldn't be clogging up his head with useless trivia.

_Wait, she works at The Leopard? Shit. I definitely have a gap in my memory._ He could vividly remember reading about its construction; it hadn't been slated to be open to the public for another few years. It was selling itself on how it'd only serve drinks on certain days of the week, with the rest of the days being dedicated to making it a "teen hot-spot". Something about how the town needed to reinvigorate itself so that kids would stop moving out.

But now it was finished, and she was unlocking the front doors for him. It looked classy enough; he doubted that a place like this would go for a sleazy look. Hell, it looked pretty expensive, too. "Been a while since I've been in a nightclub." Nick smirked, soaking in the decor. _Definitely_ not sleazy--looked more like a cozy lodge than a club, especially without anyone else in it. He could see where the lighting and sound systems were hooked up, though. Place was probably popping when it had a full crowd. "In fact, last time was-"

Her phone started ringing, causing him to glance over at her. Right, if her dad was supposed to pick her up, he was probably a _little_ pissed.

" _Shit_ , I have to take this." She pointed to some stairs that had a sign reading " _employees only_ " next to them. "Head up there, there should be a room marked for minor employees--the keys are in the cookie jar, okay?"

Nick didn't have a chance to even respond; she was already talking on the phone in a hurried, hushed whisper. He shrugged, heading upstairs. Unlike the luxurious downstairs, this'd been clearly thrown together cheaply, with peeling wallpaper and narrow halls. Luckily, each door was marked, and while the club was closed for the weather, it still had bright emergency lights. Funny how it was in better shape than the school.

The room looked more like it'd been part of an apartment complex, rebuilt to suit a club. Lots of closets and couches, but still a bathroom and kitchen. Nick had only been in a handful of "employees only" club rooms in his day--but this one didn't look half bad for a smaller town. It took a bit of hunting, as the cookie jar in question wasn't in the kitchen. Instead, it was in one of the closets, buried under a coat. Didn't look to be her size--probably belonged to her boss. Nick pulled the keys out of the empty jar, then headed back downstairs.

She was sitting at the bar counter, a bottle of sparkling juice in front of her. Had she seriously pulled out shot glasses for that? It weirded Nick out a little, but he didn't feel like arguing it. Whatever--she was offering him a free ride. "Got the keys." He patted his coat pocket, smiling at the jingle. She just poured him a tiny bit of the juice and offered it to him, smiling. "Uh...what are we toasting?" _Better to just play along._

"A toast to all the lonely souls wandering the street tonight. May they find what they're looking for." She giggled, drinking her little bit. "Don't worry. We'll get to Vernon street, and then you can see your friend and your wife."

"My wife?" He glanced down. _Shit_ , he was wearing that ring. "Oh no, I'm not married--I just wear that ring for good luck." Nick chuckled at the look on her face. "It's...a _long_ story." He glanced over at the bathroom. "Uh, can you excuse me for a second?"

She followed his gaze, then chuckled. "Sure. I'll just be fake-drinking out here."

Nick shook his head, smirking. Not a bad kid, really. He'd seen worse. He didn't need to take a piss; but he _did_ need to splash water on his face. And wash his hands, too. Hell, he needed to take a look at where those monsters had touched him, see if anything bad had happened.

A cursory look in the mirror confirmed that some of his skin had been ripped off, as if even touching them had resulted in his skin getting stuck to them. He had to remember that; he couldn't let them touch his bare skin again.

Sighing, Nick washed the relatively minor wounds, then patted them dry and covered them with his jacket. He headed back out, slowing to a stop as he looked at the girl.

Well, where the girl should've been.

Instead, there was a woman sitting there. Dark-skinned, older--closer to his age, maybe even older than that, wearing a magenta sweatshirt and ripped jeans. She looked _nothing_ like the kid that'd been in that exact seat seconds ago. "Uh...who're you? Where's that girl?" He regretted not knowing her name now.

" _Who_?" She turned, sliding off of the bar stool with a stretch and a smirk. "Can we go now? I hate sitting around."

Nick shook his head. "No, seriously--where's the girl that was just in here?"

She tilted her head. "Funny. Now come on, let's go. I'm driving." She looked him over. "You are _way_ over your limit, Nick." She reached for his arm, but he flinched back, holding up his hands.

" **Stop**." His eyes narrowed. "This is getting out of control. I came here with a high school girl. She was going to drive me to Vernon street. Who are _you_?"

That made her roll her eyes, sneering at him. "Are you _on_ something? I'm Rochelle. " _Hottest piece of ass you ever had_ ", remember? You're Nick--and usually you're a _lot_ more fun to hang out with." She smirked. "Now stop being a dick and let's get going. We'll get to Vernon street and go see Ellis."

"Ellis?" Nick dropped the hostility _immediately_ \--he could recognize the name Rochelle, at least; that was the chick that picked up when he called. And if she knew where Ellis was, then he didn't care what shit she was saying.

"Your _boyfriend_?" Rochelle put a hand on her hip, giving him a pointed look. "Oh come on, you're not _that_ wasted. That's why we even stopped at this lousy club--so we could pick up my SUV and get to Vernon street."

Nick shook his head. "That's... _some_ of that's right, but-"

Rochelle put her finger to his lips, stroking through his hair. He was too baffled to even pull back, wide-eyed and mortified. " _Shush_. No more craziness. Nick, you're scaring me."

He didn't have much of a choice. She was walking out, keys nicked from his pocket, and he still needed that ride. Now, _nothing_ was making sense. All he could keep straight in his head was that he'd been in a car accident and he needed to know if Ellis was okay. The cop made sense--but not everything surrounding the cop made sense. The town was a mess. And now--now there was this Rochelle chick. She seemed sober now that he was meeting her, but how did she know to meet him at the club? She was that girl's boss? He'd _fucked_ her?

Nick sat down in her SUV, numb. Even as she started driving, he didn't know what to say. What _could_ he say? Nothing he could come up with would sound like anything beyond insanity.

"Are we the only people on the road?" Rochelle sounded uncertain; when he glanced over, she was shaking her head. Well, that was constant: the storm was freaking everybody out. She smirked at him. "Guess that means we don't have to stop for any red lights."

_Jesus_.

"One-way? Screw that." She turned onto the street anyway. "Let's cut through Kingston, saves ten minutes." Ro' turned back onto a two-way street, then glanced over at him. "You're very quiet over there, Nick. You're not going to be sick, are you?"

He breathed in deeply, rubbing at his forehead. "I think I'm losing my mind."

Rochelle blinked, glancing at him again. " _What_?"

"How long have you known me?" Nick had to start there. It was something tangible.

She shrugged. "I don't know. A few years?"

_Years_? Nick swallowed thickly. "I don't know you. I can't _remember_ you. Since the car crash, _nothing_ is making sense."

"Don't do this to me, Nick." She groaned, reaching into her purse. "When you said you crashed your car, you didn't mention this. _Damn_. Are you in pain? Headache? Neck ache? I might have some Advil if it's not that severe."

Nick shook his head. "No pain." None at all, besides where those monsters grabbed him. "And I can remember most things." _Everything from age 38 back is sharp in my head._ "Just...sometimes..." His brow furrowed. "Some of the details, I..." He sighed. "If I try to focus on them, they slip away." He grimaced. "And I think I'm seeing things." The creeping ice had to be fake. Something that his busted head was coming up with. No one else was noticing it. If it weren't for the wounds, he'd think the monsters were fake, too.

After a few minutes, Rochelle sighed. "You really don't know who I am?"

"No."

"Not even Francis and Louis?" She turned to look at him more closely.

"Who are Francis and Louis?" Was she just fucking with him now? Neither of those names rang a bell.

Rochelle groaned, looking back at the road. "This is a joke, right? A sick joke. We're sleeping together, and you've already forgotten my friends. Amazing."

"I wish it was." Had he _seriously_ been cheating on Ellis? It wasn't possible. Had they broken up? Couldn't be. Why would Ellis have even been in the car with him if they'd been broken up? How did Rochelle know both of them? Were they in an open relationship? No way in hell--Ellis had been against that from the start.

"Ah, shit." She stopped the SUV, grimacing. "The bridge is up."

Nick frowned. He hated how the town was split up like this. It made it a pain in the ass to get across town sometimes. "Fuck." He looked over at Rochelle. "What can we do?"

She just looked at him like he was an idiot. "Run up to the control room there and see if you can hit the switch to get the bridge down. The jackass operating it never locks it up, I always have to flip the stupid thing down at night."

He wanted to tell her to do it, but she could just as easily drive off and ditch him. Groaning, Nick stepped out and headed over to the control room. Wasn't that hard to operate--Nick had never seen it before, but the guy running it clearly couldn't remember shit. Had all of the info written down. He watched the bridge lower with a smirk, yet he still felt _queasy_. How many _days_ had it been now since the accident? Where _was_ everybody?

"Took you long enough." Rochelle grinned at him when he hopped back in the SUV, slowly crossing the bridge.

"Why isn't this freaking you out?" Nick turned to look at her, scowling. "Me not knowing you."

Rochelle slowed down a little more, turning to look at him. "This isn't the first time you've acted _weird_ to me, Nick."

Nick bared his teeth. "What the **_hell_ ** does that mean? Be _straight_ with me!"

" _Stop_ _it_." She pushed on his shoulder, nudging him back in his seat.

"If you know my boyfriend-"

"I know **of** him. Let's not go there." She looked angry--hurt, maybe? It somehow made Nick _angrier_.

"So what _are_ you to me?" Nick clenched his teeth, trying to control his temper.

Rochelle's eyes softened momentarily, locking with his. "Why do you have to be like this? Just leave things _be_ , Nick." She looked back to the road, only to choke up, her eyes widening. "N-nick?"

Nick's eyes widened, watching in horror as that ice enveloped her, freezing her rock solid and bringing the SUV to a stop. " _Rochelle_!" He reached out to touch her, stunned. An ice statue. _Jesus Christ_. He could see the ice climbing over a docked boat nearby, heading towards- _oh no._

The bridge started twisting, bolts popping out. _No, no, no, we can't be on the bridge during this shit._ Nick reached down and put the SUV into reverse, moving Rochelle's frozen body just enough to let the vehicle ease backwards. Before he could try to press down on the gas, the bridge gave way, dropping them onto the ice.

It might have been thick, but it gave way instantly under the weight of the car, plunging them into the icy river.

 


	8. Hospital

Nick had been in a _lot_ of shit before, but this was new. All that he knew about cars going into deep water was that you had to either get out immediately, or else let it sink to the bottom and wait for it to fill up. No one had the strength to open a door against that sort of water pressure. He knew that this river wasn't so terribly deep--freezing cold, maybe, but not terribly deep. With some luck, he could probably get out. Maybe.

He glanced over at Rochelle, cringing. Or, he'd end up like her. How had that even happened to her? How had it not happened to _him_? Nick felt the car collide with something, exhaling as he realized that they'd hit the bottom. Deeper than he thought. _Shit_. Water was slowly trickling in. Any part of it that touched him chilled him to the bone. Those monsters might be around, too--if they could swim, he'd definitely be screwed.

But this wasn't something that he had a lot of options for. Smoker's lungs, frigid water, _monsters_ \--they all might as well be the same thing. Just the odds, for once not stacked in his favor. He needed to swim to the surface or else he would die. Either the cold would get him, or drowning would.

_Shit, this isn't filling up fast enough._ He gave Rochelle one last look, then reached over and started cranking the window down. _Gotta love older cars._ He watched the water pour in, gulping as he moved to roll down the next one. Some of the icy water hit his legs, forcing him to grind his teeth together. With this shit, he couldn't afford to wait for it to slowly fill up. Bracing himself, he opened the last windows and waited; his chest felt tight, every part of him desperate to feel even the tiniest bit of heat again.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the flashlight floating in the backseat. Nick reached back and grabbed it--he'd need it if he planned to get to the surface. Water was mostly clear, but the sky was cloudy and visibility was low. He needed to be able to orient himself.

He turned, only to jump as the windows froze over. _Shit, shit!_ The water hadn't stopped rising, but more importantly: he was _trapped_. Panicked, Nick turned to the closest window to try and smash it with the flashlight, only to lunge back when he saw one of those monsters on the other side, punching at the glass. _Oh Jesus Christ, no._

Scratching drew his attention over to one of the back seat's windows--the water was up to his neck now, forcing his breath out in tiny, terrified puffs. It was still filling up, only now he didn't know if he'd even stand a chance out in the water. Nick looked back, but the monster had already left the window; his visibility was too low to see much farther than a few inches through the thick ice. There could be hundreds out there for all he knew.

The scratching stopped, causing him to look back at the window. It was crudely done, but plain as day: **_STOP FIGHTING_**. More scratching, faster now, from the front window. He turned to look at it, seeing more words on the windshield as well. **_SO COLD. IT WILL BE OVER SOON._**

Those things were mocking him now?

The SUV was filled now, with Nick holding onto his last breath, eyes wide. Faintly, he could hear the radio playing. It sounds like that goddamn girl. He stared down at it, choking as his body reflexively tried to take a breath. The ice was melting away-- _shit_ , the ice! He was moving slowly, all to the sound of that girl's voice, as he pushed the door open.

 

* * *

 

 

"Nasty, but inevitable." Bill looked almost bored. Was that near-death experience _boring_ to him? "Everyone is going to die, even if we like to pretend otherwise." He shook his head. "You could die tonight, in your sleep."

_Well, that's cheery._

He leaned forward, curious. "Why doesn't that terrify you?" Bill snapped his fingers, pointing as if he'd come up with the best question yet. "How would _you_ like to die?" He smirked. "No wait, let me guess...you want to die in your sleep."

Bill spread his hands, as if this was some prophetic piece of information. "It's academic, really. We're only truly conscious of death when it happens to others. Get to my age, you'll have seen plenty of people die. There one minute, then..." He snapped his fingers again. "Gone."

_Was there a point to this?_

Bill let it hang, as he seemed to relish in letting his disturbed little thoughts linger, then pointed down at the latest " _game_ ". "Okay, game time."

_Getting a little bit predictable._

"There are seven pictures of people in front of you. Your job is to tell me who is dead, and who is merely sleeping. Divide them up." He motioned to a chart. "Left is dead, right is sleeping."

_This has to be a trick question. Stupid bullshit like this is popular with therapists._

"Done?" Bill grinned. Every single picture was in the "dead" category. He coughed out a laugh. "You thought it was a trick question?" _Shit_. "I expected no less."

_What the hell does that mean?_

Bill leaned back, clapping. This must have been pretty impressive, apparently. "Okay, let's get back to it."

 

* * *

 

 

Nick felt hands under his armpits, hoisting him up. Warmth, oh _God_ , warmth. But then it was distant; whoever grabbed him had switched to dragging him. He could barely open his eyes; he'd never been so cold before. Somehow, he must have gotten ashore. The cold from before was _nothing_ compared to this. Even just attempting to squint at the snowy sky was painful, little bits of ice crackling off of his eyelids. He felt himself collide with something--too numb to identify what, and felt his consciousness slip not long after.

 

* * *

 

 

"Nggh...Rochelle..." He could feel himself moving forward; at least now, he wasn't cold. _I'm...in a wheelchair? Shit, I'm at the hospital._

"Who's Rochelle?"

Nick sat up, looking back. _Zoey_. She must have brought him in-- _Christ_ , he'd be dead if she hadn't found him. "A woman. The car went into the river, and..." _And she turned into an ice statue?_ "She drowned."

Zoey arched an eyebrow. " _Another_ crash?" She thought about it. "You were in this one, too?"

"You must have seen the bridge!" Nick turned to face her, pinching the bridge of his nose. At least it wasn't too bright in the hospital. "We went right off the side." _No we didn't: the goddamn thing collapsed. But if it's like that other bridge, it might have fixed itself once the ice went away. Jesus._

She put her hand on his shoulder, concerned. Worried. Frightened, even. "Nick, the bridge has been closed ever since this storm started. You _swam_. You could have died of hypothermia. You were soaked to the skin when I found you, so, I found some clothes here."

_Well, at least it's not a hospital gown._ It looked more like she'd stolen someone's leather jacket and jeans. Jesus, had she stripped him down? Well, she had to--his clothes were soaked.

"Nick, we need to talk." She sighed heavily. "I pulled the files we had on you."

Nick tensed in the wheelchair. _Ah, tits._ How many petty crimes were on his record? Thefts? Altercations? Christ, what about the _felony_? He had a record a mile long. Sure, he'd been clean ever since he started dating Ellis, but that wouldn't mean _shit_ to a cop. _And I have that gap in my memory, where I apparently cheated on Ellis. Christ. Did I relapse? I'd cleaned up my act for that kid._

He heard those monsters shrieking, stopping his thoughts dead in their tracks. He turned to look at her, to tell her that they needed to get moving, but she was frozen rock solid. _Shit. Shit. **Shit**._ Nick gripped the wheels and charged ahead. At least he didn't have to worry about them getting her--or about her getting him for his rap sheet. He didn't know if he was fine to run or not--now wasn't the time to test it.

At least hospitals were wheelchair accessible.

Nick rammed through door after door, trying to look for some marker to indicate what wing he was in, or where he was going. He burst through a door, only registering that he was out in a courtyard when he looked up at the sky, eyes locking with a train that had been uprooted out of the nearby station and frozen in midair.

It would've been wiser to watch where he was going.

With a yelp, Nick tumbled down the stairs-- _what kind of shitty hospital didn't have a ramp? Jesus, that was dangerous._ He slammed into the icy ground with a grunt, realizing with no small amount of relief that his legs were working just fine. Good. He didn't have a lot of options if they were busted up.

Nick shot up to his feet and burst through the doors in front of him. Another wing of the hospital? Hardly looked like anything recognizable now. Looked more like the train station had crashed into the hospital. He threaded between the train cars, disoriented and utterly lost. He felt one of those things grabbing at him--at least it didn't feel cold now. It just felt oddly slippery.

He twisted and punched it in the face, faltering as he saw how it looked. Peeled apple. He remembered vividly the day that Ellis had peeled apples, excitedly talking about how he'd never made his ma's apple pie for someone before. Thick slabs of the deformed freak's body had been partially peeled, revealing dark red tissue beneath.

That was why it was "slimy". That was blood.

Nick wiped as much of it off of his hands as he could, choking out a disgusted _sob_. It was all getting to be too much--how much more of this could he take? He fled into the next room, aimless and frantic. Nothing recognizable, nothing distinguishable. No real plan, either. He didn't know how to get to Vernon street from the hospital; he'd have to backtrack to the goddamn bridge and work it out from there.

He stopped in a room, gasping for breath. The creatures weren't nearby, at least, but his phone had buzzed with a text. Ellis? He hoped to _Christ_ it was Ellis. His mouth twisted when he checked. _Rochelle?_ **_What_ _?_**

_Oh man. I feel awful. What did we do last night? Where the hell did I leave my SUV?_

Nick pushed through the next door, relaxing as he saw that the ice wasn't there. Thank Christ for that. Things were making less and less sense. Ellis was out in this mess, too. Was everything fucked up for him, too? Had Ellis left the crash because Nick had been an ice statue for him? Jesus, did he leave Rochelle behind just thinking she'd turned to ice?

"Open! Come on, God please, open!"

He followed after the lady's voice, blinking at what he was seeing. A redheaded woman in a nurse's uniform, frantically tugging at the door of a crashed car. She looked to be pretty panicked. Car crashed right into the front desk? Probably a good time to panic, honestly.

"Are you okay?" He cringed when she turned to look at him. Christ, that's a hell of a lot of blood. Right from her head, too. That had to hurt.

She ran up to him and hugged him. _Jesus_ , is she traumatized? Another, more sickening thought crossed his mind: _is this another chick that I supposedly "know"?_

She leaned back, scrutinizing him. "You're not from the hospital."

He shook his head. "Uh...no, I'm not." _Thank God she doesn't know me._

"I...had an accident." She looked over at the car.

Nick wanted to be a dick about it-- _no shit you had an accident._ "That yours?"

"No." Well that was shocking. So she didn't crash her car here?

"Yes--I'm probably making no sense." She touched her head wound, backing away from him.

"It's okay." He smiled, gently-but firmly-grabbing her shoulder. He didn't want her wandering off and dying. Too goddamn many people that were either dead or missing or _worse_. No reason to add another to the pile. "Come on, let's get you inside." _And hopefully it's not crawling with monsters anymore._

She just shook her head. "I want to go home. I've got medicine and gauze there. I'm a nurse." She motioned to her uniform. "It's a few blocks North from here. I just need some rest."

Nick stayed with her as she headed outside. "Well, I'm heading that way." _I think. I can at least get to a road I know if I head North from here._ "Are you sure you're okay to walk?"

"Yeah, I'm feeling better." She caught him staring at her head wound and laughed. "Don't worry. Head wounds always bleed a lot. Lots of blood vessels close to the surface. Nothing serious. I can clean up back at my place."

His eyes focused on her name tag. "Lisa, huh?" He met her eyes, smiling. "My name's Nick."

She grinned. "Come on. It's not far to my apartment. We can jaywalk in this weather." She motioned around. "Seriously. Nobody's out. I don't think I've seen weather this bad since I was six."

 


	9. Medicine

"Here we are." Lisa waved him into the back of an apartment complex. A bit rundown, but not nearly as shitty as his old apartment had been. She wasn't in the worst part of town, that's for goddamn sure.

He felt a little odd, entering a complex from the back alley. On any normal day, he'd call it strange for some chick to be essentially sneaking him into her apartment. Although, if anyone saw her with that gash on her head they'd probably freak out. Better to just avoid anyone else--as if that'd be hard.

"My apartment's just around the corner." She turned to smirk at him, breaking his reverie. "Used to belong to the super. It's a lot bigger than the others, but I only pay standard rent." She made her way over to one of the doors, chuckling under her breath. "He has a _thing_ for nurses."

Nick rolled his eyes. A lot of sleazy guys out there--himself included, of course, but he'd been getting better about it. Well, he _thought_ he'd been getting better; Rochelle was proof that he hadn't been. He took in the dark hallway for a long minute, once more uneasy. _No power here, either?_ This was a hell of a storm.

"Grab a seat." She waved at her couch. "I'm just gonna get out of these." Lisa disappeared into one of the apartment's rooms--probably the bathroom, all things considered.

_Not a bad little apartment._ Reminded him of the one he'd had when he first met Ellis. Not as well decorated as his had been, of course. He'd liked to keep his apartment clean and fancy looking. It made those long nights of swindling and conning seem all the more worth it, even if he came home penniless.

"No running off yet, either!" She sounded almost sing-songy. "Warm up before you head back out. I want to thank you before you go, anyway."

_Oh great._ Nick sighed. He hoped that didn't have any other connotations. It was nice to feel warm, though. Her apartment apparently still had power, despite the complex itself not being lit. Either that, or it hadn't lost power until just recently. It'd been so long since he'd been able to feel his fingers properly. Almost felt like they were burning now that they were actually warm.

"You know, last time I had a guy in the apartment was in the summer during that heat wave." She laughed. "Now it's _winter_. Freaky early, but...time flies."

He hadn't actually thought about that. The storm _was_ pretty early on in the season. Considering how light their winters had been lately, getting smacked with a storm this severe a few months early? That _was_ freakish. Curious, he checked the TV. Barely any reception, but at least it still had power. _Maybe the storm isn't that bad? Or not._ The news was talking about the freak storm. _Guess that makes it bad._

"You know, Nick. You're a nice guy." Lisa sat down next to him, a patch of gauze over the cut on her head. She didn't look so out of place now that she was wearing a sweatshirt and jeans--although Nick certainly felt out of place sitting in her apartment when his boyfriend could be hurt.

"...Thanks." Nick smiled. Had to be polite, at least. People were acting weird, and now _really_ wasn't the time to be making enemies.

"I feel safe around you." She hugged her knees close to her chest, smiling at him. _Christ_ , how old was this chick? She clutched at her head suddenly, groaning as she turned to lay down on the couch.

"Are you okay?" He stood up to let her stretch out, grimacing. Maybe she was delirious, then. Was it wise to let her come back to her apartment?

She grunted. "Headache. Can you be a hero for me and go fetch some pills from the bathroom?" Lisa stopped him with a wave of her hand. "The yellow ones. They're in a prescription bottle."

_Great_. Nick headed over to the bathroom, checking the cabinet. _Quite a few prescription bottles here. Not my place to give a shit; I don't even know what half of these are for._ He grabbed one of the bottles, shaking out the pills inside. _"Some" is a pretty shitty measurement system, but the bottle says take two for headaches. Two it is._

He headed back out, nodding when she thanked him. Nick expected her to want a glass of water. Instead, she dry-swallowed them, resting her head back on the end of the sofa with a sigh.

"Self-medication. The one true perk of the healthcare profession." She snickered, closing her eyes. "It's not just coffee that keeps us going twenty-four-seven." Lisa's brow furrowed a little as she pillowed her head with her hands. "Okay, I'm going to get some sleep. You let yourself out."

 

* * *

 

 

Bill was staring out the window, his hands clasped behind his back. Well, pretending to stare out the window: the blinds were still closed. "You feel guilt about everything."

_What else is new?_

"When we all lived in huts and wore furs, we worried over the simple things--food, water, whether animals would come and eat us in the night." Bill turned to face him again, switching to resting his hands in front of himself. Smirking again, too. What a bastard. "Now we have supermarkets, bottled water, and .38 caliber home security. So what keeps us awake at night? More often than not, _guilt_."

_Well, he does have a point there. Never looked at it that way before._

But Bill was never satisfied with just saying things nicely, was he? His tone shifted, more mocking and nasally than it'd been during the entire session up to that point. "If only I had acted _differently_...if only I hadn't said _that_...if only I had said _something_..."

Bill's eyes narrowed, anger overwhelming the mockery. "You beat yourself up with your past. Don't blame yourself! Blame the world. Blame _God_. Blame **me**!" He exhaled, holding his hands up. Calming down. Was the therapist cracking under the pressure?

"Okay, this is my _favorite_." He sat down, nodding to the little statues on the table. "Let me introduce some friends of mine." Bill pointed at one of the statues. "This is King Harold." His finger drifted to the statue next to it. "His daughter, the chaste Celestine." Again, to the next one. "A prince, called Wilhelm." He offhandedly waved to the last one. "And a bull. He...doesn't have a name."

"Prince Wilhelm is passionately in love with Celestine. But she does not love him. One day, Wilhelm comes to the king and asks for Celestine's hand in marriage." Bill's voice was infuriatingly leveled--yet oddly faster than normal. His patience was definitely starting to run thin. "Celestine _begs_ the king not to marry her to Wilhelm, but the king ignores her pleas. Royal protocol means he must say yes to the match. They are married, and Wilhelm takes Celestine back with him to his kingdom. That night, he attempts to consummate the marriage, but the distraught Celestine, flees."

It was hard to keep it all in his head from how fast Bill was talking, how flat and bored his tone was.

"She runs from the safety of the castle and across a field, ignoring the sign which warns of danger. In that field is a bull, who, seeing the girl, charges her. She falls under his hooves and is killed instantly."

_Christ. Nice story, doc._

Bill smirked; did he catch something that he'd wanted to see? "What I want you to do is line the statues up according to how guilty they are of Celestine's death. Whose fault was it? At the left, most culpable. To the right, most innocent."

_Well, shit. That was a hard one._ His brow furrowed, looking down at the statues. _Bull was obviously innocent; it's just an animal. It wasn't trying to murder her--it saw her as a threat to its territory._ He set that one as far to the right as possible, even going so far as to push it to the edge of the table. It sure as shit didn't deserve to even be judged as " _guilty_ ".

As far as guilt went, it was hard to decide. _The father should have given a shit--he should have cared about his kid more than not at all. The asshole should have known to respect her--but it was a different time, and it wasn't as though he'd wanted her to die. The father probably hadn't either._

So, the girl had to be the most at fault. _And the two assholes in the middle...the father was more guilty for not saying no. Wilhelm was just doing that chivalrous knight bullshit, probably._

"Done?" Bill seemed amused. " _Poor_ Celestine. She didn't have to run, right?" He stood up and started pacing around again.

_Getting restless, doc?_

"I find the best cure for guilt, is to never get caught in the first place." His smile when they locked eyes was probably meant to be reassuring.

It just made him feel sick.

"Let's continue."

 

* * *

 

 

Nick sighed and headed out onto the streets again. The mall was nearby, he knew that much. And from the mall, Vernon street was actually easy to get to. He was _finally_ on the right track, even if it had been a few days. He could only _hope_ that Ellis was fine--and that Ellis could forgive him. Christ, the poor little guy was probably worried half to death about him. _I have to tell him about Rochelle, too; she must be someone close to us if she was at that apartment. Someone he probably trusts._

The walk down the street was lonely now that he didn't have someone with him. He'd almost become used to walking with someone in this shit. The snow was still coming down in big, wet flakes; how many feet of snow were they expecting in this shit? No wind, either. Just eerie silence, low visibility, and bitter cold. _Christ, bring back the monsters; everything seems dead around me right now. At least those assholes are lively._

He paused to look at the mall's mascot-- _ugh, I hate that goddamn thing._ Ellis loved it, of course. Lil' Peanut was his favorite thing about the mall. It was so goofy and out there compared to the modern shops within, some carryover from the early 90s that never got phased out. Creeped Nick the fuck out.

His phone rang just before he could push the door open. Lisa? He'd given her his number on the walk over, just in case she needed to call him--but he didn't feel good about the thought of her having to call him already.

" _Nick?_ " She sounded _scared_. " _Oh, Nick...I don't feel well._ "

"What's wrong?" Nick turned to look back at her apartment. It wasn't that far.

" _I woke up...I had such a terrible dream.. **.....**_ " The white noise picked up enough that Nick stepped out into the street. " _ **..**.Blood everywhere. Oh, God, Nick._ "

"Try to stay calm, Lisa." He couldn't keep the urgency out of his own tone, though. "I'm coming."

" _Please hurry, I--_ "

She hung up. _Christ_ , he'd never heard a woman sound so pained before. Had he grabbed the right pills? He was sure of it--they were yellow! _But I didn't check the others, Jesus, what if there were other yellow pills and I grabbed the wrong ones?_ Nick hadn't even been _thinking_. He'd just wanted to get it over with so he could go save Ellis.

_Some goddamn hero I turned out to be._ Nick started jogging back, hoping that he was wrong. He didn't know a lot about the side-effects of prescription meds to begin with; she could just be hallucinating and freaking out from her head wound. She could be just fine. She could even just be panicking from the crash, hoping to have someone to comfort her.

As he stepped back into the apartment complex, heart thudding in his chest, he had a feeling that he wasn't going to be so lucky.


	10. Death

He couldn't have been gone for more than fifteen minutes. It hadn't been that far of a walk. For Christ's sakes, it hadn't even been _five minutes_ since she'd been on the phone.

Nick stood, frozen in her apartment. Even from where he was, he could see the blood on the couch. She lifted her head to look at him, wheezing. Christ, she looked so afraid.

"N-nick?" Her breath caught in her throat as she squeezed her eyes shut. Blood started to trickle down her face, dripping out of her nostrils, oozing from her mouth. It was such a fast, violent reaction--he'd never seen anything like it.

"Lisa?" He rushed over, reaching for her shoulder and her wrist. It was obvious that she was dead, even if he desperately wanted it to be false. Unless she'd been suffering from something else, it had to have been the pills. Pills that he'd picked out. _I should have checked, oh Jesus **Christ** , I should have checked._

This wasn't like shooting some gangster in a turf war. She was a goddamned nurse. "No... _no_." Nick backed up, hands shaking. She didn't deserve this. Christ. She'd called him a goddamn hero before. He'd walked her home. He'd been in a hurry, he hadn't given a _shit_ about her.

"Don't. Move." Zoey's voice carried from the door, cocking her pistol.

Nick started to move to raise his hands, mortified. "N-no, this isn't what--"

"I said. _**Don't**_. **Move**." Her eyes narrowed. "Stand up, and step away from the girl."

He complied--not a lot of options here. "This isn't what it looks like." It did look worse than it really was, admittedly. Could he be blamed? Maybe for negligence, but Christ, she was a nurse--shouldn't she have looked at the pills before ingesting them? Shouldn't she have warned him that more than one bottle had yellow pills?

"Stop talking." Zoey stepped towards him, visibly disgusted. "What have you done?"

"S-she was in an accident--I didn't do this!" Nick held his hands up, trying to keep his voice steady.

Zoey waved the gun at him, baring her teeth in a vicious snarl. " _Accident?_ Shut the hell up. You've been feeding me **bullshit** all night." She looked at Lisa's body; the couch was now soaked in her blood. "You bastard."

"I didn't--" Nick's mind ran a mile a minute; he hadn't lied to Zoey! What did she mean by ' _all night_ '? It'd been several days!

"Shut. Up." She sneered. "I know you're not Nicolas-"

His eyes widened as the room froze around them, freezing her and Lisa in place. _I'm not me? Bullshit!_ Nick looked down at his hands, still trembling. He knew who he was, goddamn it! What the _hell_ was the cop playing at? Was she in on this?

Ice meant those monsters would be loose. He knew that he needed to get away from Zoey anyway--she was trying to arrest him, and if she did that under a murder charge with his record? He'd _definitely_ never be seeing Ellis again.

Nick wondered just what the hell it meant about his mental state that he was goddamn _glad_ that the ice was back. The cop hadn't had a chance to take him farther away from his goal. He burst out of the apartment complex, puffing air as he glanced around at the dark sky. Not night--it had to do with the goddamn ice, he was sure of it. Nick had a purpose and a plan: get to the mall. It still had to be there, ice or not.

Well, it was hard to tell, but once he saw that goddamn Lil' Peanut, he knew he was in it. Somehow. The ice must have pushed the mall closer. He just had to get out to the other end of the mall--over there, he'd be closer to Vernon street. _Jesus, what the hell is wrong with me--I just murdered a girl, and--Christ, it was an accident, but that cop doesn't care. I'm lucky she didn't shoot me. Jesus Christ, Ellis, I just want you to be okay._

The monsters were getting lost and confused, too, their heads twisted into--he wasn't sure what. Shifting, changing. Crown-like. Finger-like. He couldn't focus on any of them for too long--and he found that they couldn't see him. _Flashlight's off. They're not noticing me. Squealing and crying like children. Jesus._

He had to stop for a breather, ice or not. He wasn't superhuman. Nick leaned against a gumball machine, closing his eyes and gasping for breath. He was giving it his goddamn best, wasn't that enough? Would he finally make it to their apartment and find Ellis waiting for him? Or would Ellis be out on the streets looking for him?

Or was Ellis furious? Had Rochelle been in the apartment to tell him about what Nick had done with her? Was Ellis _done_ with him? Why hadn't he heard from Ellis since that first night?

His phone dinged with a new message. Voicemail. _Please don't be the goddamn cop, I don't need this shit right now._

_"Yeah, yeah, we've got lots of shopping to do. I won't forget. Why are you shouting? Yes, she's here."_

_"Nick, want some gum?"_

_"Sure."_

The message ended, Nick's heart leaping up into his throat. That was definitely him. And Rochelle. _Jesus Christ_. How long had that been going on? How long had Ellis been suspicious? He pushed through the door, happy to see that the ice had retreated. It'd be easier to work his way through the mall at least. _I must have been in the movie theater's lobby. Bet I can find a way out the back if I go through the emergency exit in one of the theater rooms._

He'd barely set foot into one when he regretted it. Static, louder than it'd ever been before, coming from his phone. Too dark to see, needed to turn on his flashlight--but as soon as he did, he could see that it was flickering too. Nick started down the aisle towards the exit, only to freeze as the screen lit up. A static image of him and Ellis, hugging at the fairground. Nick whirled to look up at the projector--but it wasn't even _on_. So much for someone being in the booth. He turned to look at the screen again, cringing. It was just him now--a close-up of his face that he desperately wanted to scrub from his memory. The image vanished along with the static, making him wonder if he'd hallucinated it or not.

Hard to tell.

Nick headed out the emergency exit, minding where he stepped. The adrenaline had mostly faded; he just felt _tired_. _I'm close. I get to the apartment, I find Ellis, I apologize for goddamn everything._ Nick didn't know what he'd done--but it obviously hadn't been good. He needed to make it up to the little guy. This accident was proving it to him ten times over.

His cellphone buzzed with a new text. Another one from Rochelle. His teeth ground together as he opened it, bile rising in the back of his throat.

_I miss you, Nick. I miss your smell. I miss your touch. I need you. XXX_

Had she _completely_ forgotten about the SUV accident? How could she be okay with what they'd been doing? Christ. He blinked when a snowflake hit his face. _Guess I'm back outside. And it's night. Great._ Nick sighed. At least he was close now. Nick felt his phone receiving another message.

He almost didn't want to listen to it.

_"I told you to keep your eyes on the road!"_

_"If we hadn't been arguin', I would've! Shit, I think we hit somethin'."_

_"Oh, you can't drive **and** talk? I suppose that would be asking too much from a goddamn hick."_

_"Aw, hell."_

_"What now?"_

_"We hit a dog."_

_"A **dog**?"_

_"Not just any dog."_

Nick felt ill. He remembered that night. Ellis'd wanted to go to the fairground. Nick could admit it now--he'd been a _complete_ asshole to Ellis about it. Insulted his intelligence, mocked him, called him a child. Ellis had turned to tell him to shut up...and hit the neighbor's dog. The cute little girl's favorite dog in the whole wide world.

_Jesus. I did not deserve you for a goddamn second, El._

As Nick stepped onto Vernon street, he tried to shake the guilt off. He needed to take this one step at a time. Ellis first, himself second. End of discussion.

It took some digging in his memories to pull up the address again; once he had it, he started down the road. Most of the stores were closed. Not the one that mattered, though. The pawn shop was still open--and that was the address. _Christ, we live above a goddamn pawn shop?_

He swallowed and headed in. Thank _God_ that the door was unlocked. Nick found the door in the back to be locked--but it wasn't a complicated lock. A few minutes of scrounging around secured him the tools he'd need to get it open: a couple of paperclips. It was a pain in the ass to get it open, but after getting this far, it was _not_ going to deter him.

At least the second floor looked nice. New carpet and wallpaper, a couple of knickknacks on the shelves, too. A Lil' Peanut toy. Nick touched it; it had the same little stain on it that Ellis's one had. His eyes drifted over to a framed picture, a relieved smile crossing his face. Ellis in a park, sitting on a swing. It'd been a goofy, long day--but a good one. Nick remembered taking that picture, laughing and saying that he was surprised that Ellis hadn't broken the swing. And then when Ellis _did_ break the swing, they both shared a laugh.

He was ready to make this right. Nick nodded to himself. This kid was the best thing that'd ever happened to him, and somewhere along the line he'd started fucking that up. He needed to turn it around now. This was his wake-up call.

"Ellis? Where have you been? It's been hours."

Nick blinked, turning to look at the door. A woman's voice. It sounded like Rochelle. Sort of. He walked towards the door, eyes narrowing.

"You get my pills?"

Was Ellis out in this? Did someone _send_ _Ellis out for goddamn_ _pills_?

" _Ellis_!"

Nick followed the voice, tensing as he saw the woman laying down in a king sized bed. Rochelle. Older. Much older. The Rochelle he'd seen before had been in his age range. This one? Older than _him_.

"Hello. You here for my boyfriend?"

He stopped at the foot of the bed, clenching his jaw. Ellis would not date her. _Ever_. The kid was gay, for one--and if Nick had been cheating on him? No way in _hell_ that Ellis would then date that person. He watched her crawl towards him, feeling disgusted. She looked like shit, too.

"... _Nick_?" She smiled up at him, eyes practically sparkling.

"How do you know me?" Nick had to be sure. He had to know. _No, you know what I need to know?_ "Where's Ellis?"

She looked away, rolling her shoulders. "Still at the lighthouse, maybe."

" _Lighthouse_?" Nick jaw was creaking from how hard he was clamping it down. So Ellis _wasn't_ here--if it weren't for the shit in the hall, he'd think this was a red herring.

She looked up at him, squinting. "What are you doing here, Nick?"

Nick restrained himself from punching her. Barely. "Looking for Ellis. Isn't this my house? Who _are_ you?" Patience was long gone now. He was sick of this shit.

"You look _really_ good..." She reached out with a purr, touching his jacket.

He shoved her hand away, nostrils flaring. "Who. Are. You."

She smirked at him. "We're soulmates, you and I." She grabbed his hand with both of hers. "Don't you recognize your sweet Rochelle?"

As soon as the words left her mouth, her body froze, the ice spreading out from her to coat the rest of the room. Nick slowly retracted his hand from her frozen ones, barely resisting the urge to vomit. _Ellis is at the lighthouse, if this bitch can be trusted. I need to get there._

 


	11. Nowhere

Nick was straining to remember what the lighthouse was being converted into. He remembered construction starting to renovate the old thing, but nothing was coming to mind. He started down the stairs into the pawn shop, hoping that the streets would be somewhat clear of those monsters. It wasn't that hard of a drive to get there.

But he faltered.

 _This is way too dark._ Nick shone his flashlight down the stairs, feeling dread sinking into his bones. _The light should be bouncing off of a counter somewhere down there. Or a floor. It shouldn't be swallowed up in the dark. I don't have a choice, it's a dead-end behind me._

He continued down, hesitating only briefly as the stairway hall widened into an abyss. Any illusions of this being the pawn shop were gone. This was _nowhere_. He was descending down a staircase that was reaching into a gaping abyss, with nothing more than concrete walls to comfort him. He could only see two walls as he descended: one so far away that he could barely make it out in the inky black, and one just within his reach. Buildings. _Somehow_.

Nick glanced back; he couldn't even see the hallway that he'd come from anymore. Swallowed up in the black. Did it even exist anymore? He stopped. The stairs had hit a wall, twisting to the side to match this new iced-over concrete in their never-ending descent.

Still didn't really have a choice. At least it wasn't hell, right? Hell wouldn't be frozen like this.

Just when he was starting to feel worn down, the stairs twisted into a flat platform. Nick walked to the edge of it, then stopped. "Shit." He couldn't see a way forward from here. This'd been a one-way path, and it was a dead-end.

He scanned the darkness below, trying to gauge how deep it was. A fall this far would most assuredly kill him, wouldn't it? _None of this seems real. Just a goddamn hallucination. Like when the SUV went under. That didn't even happen. Did it? I was just swimming, right? Why? What am I **really** doing right now?_

Nick stepped forward, letting gravity take over.

The building in front of him was an apartment complex, from what he could glean as he fell. His flashlight flickered, his phone erupted with static, but Nick was doing his best to remain calm. He saw that shadowy figure falling with him, waving at him. He still had enough sanity not to wave back. _Barely_. His flashlight gave out, plunging him into absolute darkness.

Nick didn't feel himself hit the ground. He stood up on shaking legs, trying to assess the situation. He'd somehow blacked out and ended up on the ground--had the fall even happened? Did it even matter? He smacked his flashlight until it flickered back on, trying to comprehend where he was.

Pitch black, save for a single swinging ceiling light. Great. He was still in that icy world, then. He headed towards the dim light, the only tangible thing anywhere close to him. His cellphone started acting up again as he drew nearer to it, with his flashlight flickering along with it. As soon as he stood under it, a blinding flash of white light made him cover his eyes. The room had changed around him.

A hallway, covered in ice. Unidentifiable to him. The room it was connected to held a sofa and an old TV. Static. After everything that he'd seen? Child's play. Nick continued on, undeterred. A hall? No. A room. His eyes drifted to the wall. A bed was bolted to it. He stepped through to the next room. Same bed, bolted to the ceiling. Looked like his apartment's bed, actually.

He felt that same queasiness, forcing him to keep going. The TV room again. And yet again. He paused when he saw the same room a third time--but with the TV on. He recognized the video. Ellis was laughing and telling him that they needed to keep video of their first vacation together.

Nick continued on, clutching at his chest. Whatever this was, it wasn't _normal_. It wasn't _right_. He found himself standing on a frozen plank, overlooking another abyss. This time, the plunge took no thought.

The same apartments from before, only now there was laughter. Ellis's laughter. As he fell, he saw screen after screen fly by, massive, showing the two of them hugging in front of the car. Kissing. Nobody could have taken that video. No one had been there. Interspersed between the shots was an image that he didn't immediately recognize.

The car crash.

An aerial view of it, with him sprawled out in the snow. Crawling out of the car.

Darkness took him again, and he was almost _glad_ for it. Wood floor stretched out beneath him, his flashlight's beam seemingly obstructed by nothingness. A quick examination confirmed it to be some sort of illusion--a mirrored wall? Or hell, why _not_ just an invisible wall? Would that _really_ be the worst thing he'd seen?

He could see Rochelle, still frozen on that bed. Nick threaded his way through the invisible walls; he was almost _angry_ that he hadn't apparently made any progress. As soon as he approached her, the world shifted around him into an empty room, those monsters shrieking all around him.

One of them lunged at him, its crowned-head stabbing into his back. He flung it off with a mortified screech as his blood ran cold; he'd forgotten how swiftly those goddamned things could freeze him to the core. Nick started running, bursting through door after door. He couldn't tell if he was even going anywhere--each room looked near-identical, with those shrieking monsters trying their damnedest to catch him.

The next door he flung open snapped shut behind him, leaving him in a long, pitch black hallway with nothing more than the far door illuminated. He glanced back, only to find that the door he'd come from was gone. At least the screaming had stopped--he'd left the monsters behind.

He entered the far room, legs nearly giving out. It was their room. No uncanny similarities here, it was piece for piece their bedroom.

Nick walked over to a picture tacked to the wardrobe, touching it with trembling fingers. The same one he kept in his wallet, only bigger. It'd been his favorite picture; he remembered telling Ellis to keep it tacked there so he'd always have a reminder to frame it. Never could find a good enough frame, though.

"Ellis, this is our room..." He staggered over to the bed, sitting down on the frozen sheets. His shoulders slouched, his composure slipping away. ".. _.But you're not in it_."

Nick rolled over onto his back, staring up at the frozen ceiling. He'd been running for _days_ now--even if it hadn't been days, it'd _felt_ like days to him. Sure as hell looked it, too. His eyes closed, surrendering to his own exhaustion.

 

* * *

 

 

Bill was pacing again, a knowing smirk on his face. "You know, I think we're getting somewhere. We're all _tied up_ in this relationship thing."

He rested his hands on the back of his chair, eyes narrowing. "Relationships worked a lot better when we didn't live so long. We have phrases like _"the honeymoon is over"_  to remind us how quickly these things sour."

"You think I'm being cynical?" Bill slowly made his way around to sit on the chair, chuckling. "Divorce does that to you." He smirked, letting the weight of his words settle before leaning in. "Come on, you think marriages are any different than relationships? You think they can _really_ last?"

The therapist cocked his head to the side. "Should a couple stay together for the kids?" He smirked. "Do you think it's a bad idea to marry young?"

_I can only shake my head, really._

"Do you think sex becomes _stale_ after marriage?" Bill grinned.

Another shake of the head.

Bill leaned back, seemingly irritated. "You know what? You being an _expert_ on marriage, you're going to ace my matchmaker test." He motioned to the photos on the table carelessly. "On the table are six pictures. All you have to do is sort them into three married couples."

 _Either he's trying a new tactic, or I'm really starting to get under his skin. Good._ A quick glance revealed six white people, all dressed about the same. _Doc probably wants me to match them by hair or clothes or something. Fuck that. These two women look good for each other, I guess. This guy and girl, sure. These two guys...sort of look like us, don't they? Shit. That was intentional. Dick._

"All finished?" Bill smirked knowingly at the choices. "Okay." He chuckled. "Now, tell me which of those couples are still together..." Bill laughed. "I'm joking. You know I'm just trying to provoke you, right?"

 _Asshole_.

Bill switched to leaning on one elbow--he really seemed to favor that one. "Let's keep going. We're really making progress here."

The way that he bared his teeth was almost terrifying.

 

* * *

 

 

"Nick?"

Nick's eyelids twitched as he reluctantly stirred.

"Nick?" That girl--the chick that looked a little bit like Zoey. The kid. "Were you dreaming?" She tilted her head. "Are you okay?"

Why the hell was she in their room? Nick struggled to sit up, looking at her. "What are you doing here?" He looked around. "This place is..."

"Your home, right?" She sat down on the edge of the bed. "I saw the photos of you in the corridor...you and your _"friend"_."

Nick just rubbed at his face, trying to wake up. "Ellis isn't here." He stood up, shoulders slumped. He didn't even _care_ that she broke in--she probably _hadn't_ broken in; he'd probably burst through the front door somehow while he was in that icy world.

"I'm sorry..." She cringed.

"The woman...said Ellis was at the lighthouse." He looked over at her.

But she shook her head. "The lighthouse closed down years ago."

Years ago? It'd just been at the beginning of construction when he'd last heard about it. Had whatever they'd built really failed that fast? "I need to go there." _I don't care if it's nothing but ashes now. If Ellis is there, I need to go there._

"My dad and I can drive you there." She didn't even question it. Either she understood the gravity of the situation, or she was afraid of him. Most likely the former--fear doesn't compel someone to chase what they fear. "We'll take the lake road."

" _Thank you_." Nick almost wanted to ask her name--almost.

He also didn't want to know her name.

It'd make it easier if something happened to her.

 

* * *

 

 

_Oh Christ, now they're fighting._

He hadn't been in the car with the two of them for more than five minutes before the dad started yelling. He was accusing her of trying to sleep around to get good grades, insisting that she was useless--nothing at all like her big sister. Musicians were worthless bags of shit compared to law enforcement officers.

Nick kept quiet, trying to stay out of it--until she made a grab for the steering wheel. Her dad slammed on the brakes, she spat out an insult about missing mom, and out the door she went. Nick remained frozen in the back, watching the dad throw a fit for a few minutes before he got out of the car to chase after her.

 _I could just take the car, but, I've never even **heard** of the lake road. It must have been built in the past ten years. I'd just get lost._ Nick grimaced as he stepped out of the car, looking around the road. Agonizingly enough, he could actually _see_ the light from the lighthouse across the lake. Had she been lying about it being closed down?

He looked around the area, grimacing. The only place that they could have possibly gone to disappear that quickly was right next to the car. A little cement stairwell that headed under the bridge and into...

"Ah _Christ_ , not the sewer."

 


	12. Fairground

Well, it definitely stunk like a sewer.

Nick tried to avoid looking at the foul-smelling liquid beside him as he ventured deeper into the gloom. This particular section of the town's sewer system was definitely due in for an inspection: none of the emergency lights were functioning, leaving him in utter blackness. Neither of those people--Zoey's family--had been carrying a flashlight. If they'd run down here, then they were running blind. He had to keep reminding himself that he'd seen nothing to prove that they had gone anywhere else, even as he found himself behind a door and deeper still into the sewer.

All he could hear was his own footsteps. It was too cold for any water to be dripping--and he kept convincing himself that it was water, that the stench was _just_ some trash. His phone buzzed with a text, forcing him to pause to look at it. Goddamn Rochelle.

_Sorry about last night. I was upset when you ran off._

_Upset? **Upset?!**_ Nick clenched the flashlight tighter and soldiered on. The sewer was a little bit bigger than he'd thought, with fewer paths back to the surface than he'd hoped. If those two really had run down here, blind, then they could be heading in any direction. He had no way of knowing.

He just hoped that he wouldn't find them bobbing in the raw sewage.

His phone rang--if it was Rochelle, he wanted to rip her a new one. But, it wasn't. Nick stopped walking, breath coming in tiny, halted gasps.

It was Ellis.

"Ellis?" Nick couldn't help how terrified he sounded.

" _Nick--I need you so much._ "

_Oh God, he sounds terrified, too._ "I'm almost there, fireball." He tried to sound reassuring and soothing, even as he struggled to regulate his breathing. Ellis's voice was choked with tears. Whatever this storm was putting him through had to be worse. Hell, even if it was the same thing Nick was enduring, it'd hit the little guy harder. He'd never been in a gunfight before. He'd never had to stitch himself back together again before. He had probably run to the lighthouse to escape those monsters, constantly driven farther and farther away from safety.

" _Nick_..."

The call ended on Ellis's last little sob, wrenching a sob from Nick in response. He had to stop to collect himself, the stench surrounding him barely noticeable with his mind as distracted as it was. In all of his years of knowing Ellis, the only time that he'd come _close_ to sounding this distraught was the week after he'd run away from home. He'd been crying and clinging to Nick, begging Nick to stay with him until he fell asleep. That'd been the first time that he'd let Ellis stay in his bed. Whatever was left of his rotten heart had felt that hurt--something that he'd been sure would never bother him again.

Nick pried open another door, relieved to see a ladder out. Whatever guilt he felt for leaving those people behind was easy enough to snuff out. If they ran in the sewer, they were both being as quiet as possible--and hadn't taken the same route he had. He could spend all day searching for them, or he could get back on track to saving Ellis. Ellis mattered more to him. Easily. _Obviously_.

He climbed out of the sewer with a gasp, relieved by the cool, clean air. Colder on the surface, but Christ, he would sooner jump in the river again before he'd dare to go in the sewer another time. He looked around, trying to orient himself. The lake was in front of him, but he couldn't see the lighthouse from this part of it. Shit.

As he approached it, he felt another voicemail notification. He recognized this spot of the lake. Nick looked at his phone, dread filling him. Would this be like that other voicemail?

" _We're here now. Let's **try** to enjoy ourselves._ " Nick hated how sarcastic he'd sounded.

" _Glad to_." Ellis just sounded _tired_. Nick couldn't even remember if they'd argued the entire way or not. It'd been a rough week--that'd been the week that Nick had tried to push Ellis into an open relationship, telling him over and over again that he wasn't enough to satisfy Nick.

But then Ellis's tone changed--excited. Kid always did get distracted from his own problems pretty easily. " _Hey, look at the lake! I bet we could go fishin' there!_ " He paused, letting out excited little huffs. " _Or, or we could take some pictures with that there new camera!"_

" _Fishing?_ " Nick laughed. " _Now you're talking. C'mere, sport, I'll use you as bait!_ "

Nick lingered with the phone to his ear. Felt odd to hear his own laughter--but hearing Ellis's laughter made him smile. He sighed. _Back to the present._ The present, of course, being a massive snowbank that was in his way. He needed to cut through the nearby bar to get by. Same bar that he'd met Ellis in, actually.

Despite it being closed, the front door was unlocked. Owner never remembered to lock it. From what Nick could tell, they never got robbed, either. Or, they never reported it. He stood in the doorway, watching as Zoey's sister drank a beer. No father in sight. Guess she _did_ go through the sewer.

She was just staring at him, leaning back in her seat. Nick approached, refraining from yelling at her. "Hey..." _Hey, thanks for leaving me behind and forcing me to be farther away from my boyfriend because of your negligence._

"Sorry I left you like that." She set the beer aside, leaning forward.

Nick smirked, keeping his cool. "It's okay. I, uh, took a shortcut." _Right_.

"It's...I'm _done_ with dad's shit." She sighed. "It felt good to finally talk back to him, after all of these years. I'd been trying to impress him with my grades, and my singing, and...none of it came close to mattering to him. We both wasted a lot of time. I tried to excel to make him proud, he tried to force me to join the academy." She paused. "You still heading to the lighthouse?"

"Yeah." Nick nodded, failing to keep the urgency out of his voice.

She cringed. "Well, you'll need a boat to cross the lake from this side. They often moor at the jetty behind the fairground. The lake road's blocked off." She waved to the back door of the bar. "Head through the alley out back, you'll see the fairgrounds from there. I used to go there all the time with my family...I doubt it's as exciting as I remember it." She started shaking her head. "Are you sure you want to go, Nick?"

He really didn't. If that ice crept up on him in the fairground, he could get horribly turned around again. What if Rochelle had been lying to him? "It's all I've got." Nick shrugged. He didn't have a choice. He had to, just in case Ellis was there.

"Something feels... _wrong_." She looked away from him, chewing her lip.

"He's there." Nick huffed. "I know it this time. I'll get my answers."

She grimaced. "You might not like them."

Nick looked her over. He wanted to ask her what she meant, wanted to demand it from her--but knew that was pointless. Even if she was saying it for a reason beyond being cryptic, she wouldn't just divulge that information to him. No one had been straight with him since the storm started.

He'd rather just remember her as some bumbling kid that was trying to help, and not another asshole trying to get in his way.

He headed out the back wordlessly, head down. Through the fairground, jack a boat, get to the lighthouse.

 

* * *

 

 

"We're getting _deep_ in it now." Bill had stopped pacing again, gripping the back of his chair again. He'd _definitely_ lost his composure from the beginning of the session. "I can almost taste it." They locked eyes. "All this talking and we still haven't touched on the _sex_ thing."

He stepped around the chair, pacing around the room again. "...That's what you're thinking. Aren't all psychiatrists supposed to be obsessed with sex?" Bill sat down. "It's not us. It's _**you**_."

Bill leaned forward. "You're _obsessed_ with **_not_ ** having sex." He grinned. "Come on, let's have some fun. See the pictures on the table? I want you to divide them up."

_Not again._

"The ones you think are a sexual symbol go on the left, the ones that aren't, on the right." He looked like he was _thoroughly_ enjoying how uncomfortable this topic was.

He looked at the images. _Rorschach_. Two of them looked like skulls, a few like bugs...none of it exactly sexual. But he threw the two that didn't look as terrible as the others into the sexual category, hoping that it'd suffice. He didn't need the doc insisting that something was wrong with him sexually.

"Good. Of course, the constant partner of sex, the other side of the same coin is..." Bill picked up one of the images that'd been placed in the _"sexual"_ category, then flipped it, revealing a knife on the other side. "Death."

He looked distantly at the wall, smiling lazily. "Sex is death. It's a leap into the void, the great loss of self. The tiger in space. A plea for annihilation. To deny sex, is to deny death itself."

_What the hell is this guy smoking?_

Bill got up and poured himself a shot of whiskey, pacing around the room once more. "You know, people who are getting enough don't need analysis." He was sneering as he sat back down. "You _clearly_ are not getting enough."

He sounded angry, almost. Violently so.

"Let's see this through to the end."

 

* * *

 

 

Nick stepped out of the back alley, smirking as he saw the snowdrift to the left of him. Other side of it. That meant that the fairgrounds had to be close. He hoped, anyway.

He stopped at a sign, frowning. No fishing allowed. _Yeah, that'd been upsetting._ They'd seen that sign not long after considering it. Nick never bothered to find out why fishing wasn't allowed in the lake. Probably some ordinance, or some toxic waste spill. Jersey didn't exactly have a clean record when it came to the environment.

_There's the fairground entrance. Still just as goddamn scary as it's always been._ His mouth twisted into a little smirk as he looked over the giant plywood clown marking the ticketbooth. Still ran the same shows from all of those years ago. The magic show was the most popular one. Parlor tricks that reminded Nick a little bit of half of the shit he used to do when he gambled. Ellis had loved it. As soon as they got home, Nick'd shown him a few of the tricks--but never revealed how they worked. Somehow, that'd made it all the more magical to the little guy.

But the fairground was closed. Obviously. It was never open during the winter; too cold, and if snow or ice got on the rides, it could potentially endanger anyone on them. Lucky for him, no one had bothered to board up the little office on the side--and it looked like the window had been removed. Someone probably broke it and they'd been ready to replace it when the storm hit.

Well, Nick always did like to be opportunistic.

He jumped through, easily finding the keys in some fairground jacket. _I should be worried about the bloodstain on that, but hey, it's a fairground. Accidents happen_. Nick unlocked the door and stepped out into the connecting hall. Even now, deep into winter, the place vaguely smelled of plastic, popcorn, and piss. He'd always hated fairgrounds. Crawling with shitty kids and obnoxious parents.

Nick found the door leading out into the fairground proper, sighing as he did so. Creepy as shit. Everything was covered in snow, but not enough to hide the colorful clowns and cheap plywood cutouts. He'd _never_ be caught dead here if it weren't for how happy it'd made Ellis. Now, he just had to find a way to cut through the fairground.


	13. I Can't Let Go

Nick stopped at the colorful fairground map, grimacing. "I've gotta get lakeside." Other end of the fairgrounds, of course. He focused on walking through it as quickly as possible. Too many memories here. Nick would've thought that it would get boring for one of them, but Ellis had always found a way to keep it fun. Even if it was something stupid, like that "heated" argument they had over whether or not a dragon deserved to die.

He reached a gate that barred him from going any farther. Grimacing, Nick looked around, eventually settling on an "employee's only" door. Tunnel of Love access. Great. He used the key he'd swiped earlier to unlock it, sighing as the slightly musty air within hit his nose.

Yep. Tunnel of Love alright.

Static. Vague shapes in one of the swan boats. Nick wanted to ignore it, he really did, but the sound was irritating and he was a bit disoriented. Reluctantly, he flicked on his camera's phone and took a picture. Instead of seeing two shadows, however, he saw two ice statues. His phone chimed in with a voicemail message, bringing with it a sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach. Didn't take a genius to realize that the two people in the boat were him and Ellis.

" _This brings back memories._ " Nick'd sounded tired back then. Happy, but tired. " _Our first date. It was so exciting..._ " That first date _had_ been something.

Ellis just laughed. " _You were pretty forward, back then. A real animal."_

Nick chuckled. " _Oh, I still am. Give me a kiss._ "

There was the faint sound of shuffling about, barely audible under the music of the ride. " _Hey, this I **like**!_ "

An announcement carried out stating that the ride had to be temporarily stopped. " _What the hell?_ " Nick, irritated. _Of course. When wasn't I pissed off?_

" _C'mon, "animal"; I'm still waitin' on that there kiss_."

Nick's eyes fell on an access door on the other side. He headed over wordlessly, numbly recalling that date. He'd been getting bored, and he knew it. Ellis didn't like gambling, or going to big cities. He liked simple things and small town life. In some ways, Ellis'd been more mature--wanting a normal, well-adjusted life. Nick was a party animal that never let go of his immaturity.

_God, what the hell was wrong with me. I had it perfect with him, and I was ruining it._

A blast of cool, clean air hit him as he finally exited the access hall. Out of the fairgrounds altogether now. His eyes lit up when he saw a few boats docked in the harbor. _Thank Christ for that._ Now, however, he was wondering what to do. Was jacking a boat anything like jacking a car?

He'd worry about that when he got to it.

Nick picked out one of the personal yachts--not too big to be unwieldy, and not too small to be easily capsized. He climbed aboard, only to notice that even with the windows frosted over, there was clearly a light on inside. _Shit. Well, maybe they'd be willing to help?_ Nick patted his coat, only to realize that it not only wasn't his coat--who knew what the officer did with his clothes--she still had his wallet, too. She'd never given it back.

He steeled himself for putting up with whatever person might be waiting for him, only to freeze as he stepped inside.

Rochelle. Laying on some cheesy 70's heart bed.

"Nicolas." She leaned on her elbow, smirking at him. "About time..."

"You were expecting me?" Nick shut the door behind him, relaxing a hair. Another gap in his memory, possibly. At least with her, he could convince her to steer him over to the lighthouse. He just had to stay on her good side.

She slid back on the bed, grinning. "I'm lonely and horny...isn't that when you _always_ show up?"

_Oh Christ._ Nick approached her, feeling sick. "What is this place?"

Rochelle twisted to lay on her stomach, snickering. "It's a boat. It's like a car, but goes on water."

_Smartass_.

"We float this baby out into the middle of the lake and we can do _whatever_ we like...no one to tell us what to do." Rochelle waved a hand casually out towards the lake, winking at him.

Nick started to pace, keeping his tone firm. "I need to get to the lighthouse."

Rochelle sighed. "Well it can do that, too...for a price."

"My **boyfriend** is there. I **need** to be there." Nick turned to look at her, hoping that she would get the message finally. Whatever he'd done with her was over.

"Nick, Nick...Always with the weight of the world on his shoulders." Rochelle sighed again. "I remember when you were a fun-loving guy."

So much for keeping his composure. "We're talking about my _**boyfriend**_ , dammit!"

Rochelle sat up quickly as he approached. "Okay, _okay_." She headed over to the ship wheel, glancing at him briefly. He watched as she turned the wheel and flipped a switch, relieved that he heard the engine chug to life. She came back to the bed and settled down on her back, smirking up at him.

"We'll be at the " _lighthouse_ " in about twenty minutes." Her emphasis on the word was weird. Nick had a feeling she was just pissed that he was placing his boyfriend before her. "It's a slow boat."

Nick huffed, finally looking her in the eye. "Do you know what's happening to me?" It was a shot in the dark, but it seemed like she knew more about whatever this storm was doing.

"I know a lot of things." She shook her head. Trying to be coy.

"You don't know the half of it." He held up a hand, stopping her from bullshitting him. "I've seen you _die_. I've seen a woman with the same name, almost a decade older than you." Nick rubbed at his face, trying to calm down. "Every step I take, Ellis gets further away..." He sat down on the edge of the bed, feeling that same heavy burden on his heart from before.

Rochelle looked sympathetic. "But now he's at the lighthouse." She patted him on the shoulder. "Nowhere else to go."

"Who _are_ you, Rochelle?" Nick felt his lip trembling. _Jesus, I can't cry now--what the hell is wrong with me?_

She arched an eyebrow. "I already told you. I'm the lay of your life. Your salvation, and your curse." She leaned in, kissing him on the lips. She didn't seem to mind that he was unresponsive. "I taste _sweet_ , don't I?"

Nick didn't answer, feeling her push him down on the bed. Straddling him. Grinding on him. His eyes slid shut. She had the boat. She had the boat, and the only way for him to get to the lighthouse. He had to go through with it.

_Jesus Christ, I'm so sorry, Ellis._

 

* * *

 

 

Nick woke up to find that the lights were out, and the room was cold. His clothes were off, too. He sat up, nearly jumping out of the bed when he saw Rochelle's frozen form next to him. Older Rochelle, too. Not the young one that he'd just slept with. He squeezed his eyes shut, cringing. He _had_ to do it, right?

He found some clothes and pulled them on. Blue button-down, khaki pants. Same outfit that he'd had when he met Ellis. Was this his favorite shirt? Nick checked the collar, finding the tiny blood-stain there. Yes, it was. He didn't even question why Rochelle had it.

_Well, time to find out how far the boat made it. Engine's off and we're not moving. Maybe we already got there?_ Nick stepped outside, grimacing. The boat had been swallowed up by ice, ice that'd frozen the entire lake. The lighthouse was still in the distance. They'd only made it about halfway.

_What choice do I have?_ He slid off of the boat and onto the surface of the lake, smacking his flashlight until it blinked back to life. If he ran, he could get there before the ice vanished. Nick wasn't about to wait around on the boat. Nowhere to run if those monsters came, and he was sick of waiting. He _needed_ to see Ellis.

His phone started ringing as he ran. Without slowing down or looking, he answered.

" _Nick, come back!_ " Rochelle's voice, practically bawling.

Nick's lip curled. "Sorry. It's too late now." _I'm not turning back for you. The choice between my boyfriend and some bitch I cheated on him with? You're not even close._

Rochelle sounded desperate. " _I love you, Nick!_ "

"Sorry." He hung up, snarling to himself.

Another message. Text message, this time. Nick looked at it--it was from Zoey.

_This your Ellis?_

Attached was a mugshot. A mugshot? Ellis looked a little older, but it was definitely him.

Nick pocketed his phone, feeling a chill run down his spine as he heard the shrieking of those monsters all around him. One of them leaped at his back and he flung it off, gasping for breath. This time, there were no rooms to run to. Nothing to jump over. Nothing to climb. Nothing to knock over.

And they were fast.

Three of them grabbed him, with more on the way. He flung off two of them, staggering as the third pulled at him, but then another one grabbed his leg. Furious, he flung them off and hobbled forward. His legs felt _painfully_ stiff, he'd never had this many of them touch him before. He could hear their shrieks melting into horrific laughter all around him, their sharp, angled bodies and peeling, bloodied flesh surrounding him.

He collapsed under the weight of them, feeling them petting him. His breath came out in short, agonizing puffs. Some distant sound rang out across the lake, making them all recoil away from him. Nick struggled up to his feet, watching as they all slowly froze in place, ice coating them.

Small miracles. Nick started towards the lighthouse once more; he felt weak, but he had to make it. He had to make it before they melted. Before the ice melted.

As soon as he had that thought, the ice cracked around him, plunging him into the water. He gasped, eyes bulging as he hit the freezing water. _So that was why the monsters always seemed to fall behind--they froze right before the ice left_. Nick looked ahead. Lighthouse was still there. _I have to make it._

Swimming in icy water was much more difficult than he'd imagined it'd be. Something beneath him caught his eye; a statue beneath the water of him and Ellis hugging on their bed. Ice? Stone? He couldn't tell. He couldn't tell if it was real or not. He kept swimming, another thing catching his eye. A car, and a statue of him on the ground next to him. The crash.

It was getting harder and harder to swim. The shore was within his reach. He could see it. He could see the lighthouse, and not just the light. It was right there.

His arms were giving out.

 

* * *

 

 

When he came to, he was on the shore. He coughed up water, turning to look up at his rescuer. Zoey. _Shit. She's going to arrest me for that goddamn Lisa chick._ He didn't even think--he grabbed her gun and struggled to his feet, pointing it at her. "You're **not** stopping me!"

Zoey held up her hands, eyes wide. "I'm not here to stop you." She bobbed her head back. "I didn't have to fish you out of the water, did I?"

" **Stop** talking!" Nick bared his teeth. "You _can't_ talk me out of this!"

"I'm _not_ here to stop you!" She repeated herself, urgently trying to calm him down. "I pulled your file at the station. I told you that, right?" Her eyes narrowed. "If you're telling the truth, this doesn't make sense." Zoey exhaled. "But I think you **are** telling the truth."

Zoey's voice cracked. "I believe you think you're Nick. Hell, I believe you _**are** _ Nick!" Her nostrils flared. "But Nick was killed in a car crash eight years ago."

He nearly dropped the pistol, eyes widening.

"You want answers?" She nodded over to the lighthouse. "I guess they're waiting in there."

Nick looked over at it. "That's the lighthouse?"

She sighed. "Nothing's quite what you expect, is it?" Zoey looked away. "My father and little sister died in a car crash three years back. And tonight? I saw them walking down the street." She grabbed her gun and holstered it, looking at Nick's defeated expression. "First thing tomorrow, I'm going to hand in my badge." She smiled weakly. "I don't think I'm cut out for police work." She started to walk away, shaking her head. "Not in this town." She glanced back at him. "Good luck."

Nick nodded his head. "Thanks." He had to hope that she was lying. Or that he wasn't who he thought he was. Somehow. He headed over to the lighthouse, still feeling sick inside. Whatever answer was waiting for him, he wasn't ready for it. His eyes fell on the plaque on the door. "Lighthouse Clinic, Counseling and Family Therapy?" Nick coughed up some more water. "It's a clinic?"

He stepped inside. No one at the front desk. There was a door at the end of the hall, however. He ran towards it, teeth grinding together.

 

* * *

 

 

Bill sat on the edge of the table, sighing. "This is going nowhere." He looked over. "I'm spelling it out, but you're not _listening_! Your troubled school days, how you're conflicted about marriage...your denial of _death_ , the unfounded _guilt_ , abnormal _sexuality_..."

His tone shifted to one of absolute _outrage_ as he rose to his feet. "Eight years of denial! A whole universe of fantasy in that **_thick_ _skull_ ** of yours!" His glass was empty. Was he drunk? "A skull _teeming_ with agents of repression...Blind children clutching photos in the dark. Pale freaks, goggle-eyed from watching home movies on loop."

He sighed, forcing himself to calm down as he paced. "The term is _"complicated grief"_. But it's simple, isn't it?"

Bill turned to look at him, waving a hand. "A young man, forced to run away from home. He blames himself when his _"knight in shining armor"_ loses interest. Then his savior _dies_." He set his glass down. "What's a man to do? **_Deny_ ** that he died. _**Deny** _ who he was. Who can _really_ know everything about their loved one, anyway?"

His voice rose again, frustration leaking out. "So he _obsesses_ and _obsesses_ over this **fantasy** man, propping up his make-believe with scraps...Scraps of a happy life that _never_ was. Scraps of a lover who never _existed_..." He grabbed the glass again. " **Wake up**!" Bill threw it against the wall, shattering it, then sighed and tried to control his breathing.

"Your boyfriend wasn't a hero, wasn't your knight in shining armor." He sat down. "He was a human being. You never knew him, and you never will."

As he spoke, the door opened. Nick stepped in, looking right at him.

"The man walking around in your head isn't even a ghost. He never existed. A Frankenstein's monster, a lonely man's fantasy." Bill sounded like he was pleading. "But you're alive. Your caretaker roommate is alive. She's not the _monster_ that you make her out to be. You need to live your life."

"Ellis." They both spoke at once, Ellis's eyes darting between Nick and Bill.

"Nick..." He smiled when Nick walked over and crouched down in front of him, squeezing his shoulder. "You _are_ a hero. The man who died, he ain't you. That ain't who I remember. Those memories are all I've got-- _you're_ all I've got."

"I'm not even a ghost." Nick looked away, shaken.

Ellis shook his head, mortified, and hugged Nick tightly, squeezing him to his chest. He felt Nick return the hug and closed his eyes, tears slipping out before he could stop them.

He left the session--Rochelle was waiting for him. He let her wrap an arm around him, leaning against her as they headed home.

 

* * *

 

 

Bill sat down at his computer, opening up the case file to write his report.

_Patient 32. Initial Assessment._

_Transcribing my notes on the patient. Overall, an interesting case. In these notes, I shall restrict myself to more general observations on the personality and behavioral aspects demonstrated during our time together. Detailed discussion of delusions, etc, etc. will be saved for a more specific addendum._

_A bit of a dreamer here. Seems driven by "positive" ideals - wants to help, befriend, nurture, and otherwise enhance the lives of others, whether they want this or not...Quite interested in reflection and "self-improvement" - sees life as a "journey"._

_Resorts to a lot of tired growth and floral metaphors. Seems averse to conflict. Likes to be referred to as "romantic". Likes to rely on intuition. Therapy "felt" like the right thing to do._

_Clams up a bit when we get onto sex. Seems commitment-averse, or at least seems to struggle with the idea of lifelong partner or family? Not out of any great desire to seek pleasure - patient's sexual history and fantasies very dull, very plain._

_Very conscientious. Says they are always aware of "obligations". Others might criticize for being too "thorough" or "detail-oriented" (not my phrase!)_

_Claims to treat body well. Not necessarily a "clean living" type, but knows what is good for self. Thinks this has some importance._

_Likes to insist on tidiness and having "everything in its place". Seems to take pride in being nice to others. I suggested patient would make a useful and reliable roommate. Patient smiled._

_Patient in a few words: "Clean and tidy"._

_So...summing up. Am sure patient will be back - lots of uncovered ground. Don't believe we've seen everything yet. Might be worth going back to the start and re-examining with benefit of what we know now. Think patient will agree?_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story is Ellis attempting to explain how Nick survived the crash--every time that something stops making sense, Ellis throws in "monsters" to try and fill in the gaps. 
> 
> The monsters are called "Raw Shocks"; a play on Rorschach--it can be implied that those parts are also more intense parts of the session, where Bill is trying to make Ellis give up on his little fantasy of Nick being alright.
> 
> Nick cheated on him with Rochelle--and after his death, Rochelle felt guilty enough to stick around and help Ellis. Ellis didn't have any friends of his own up in Jersey, and with no way to go back home, he had nowhere to go without Nick. 
> 
> Nick was driving to Rochelle's apartment when he spun out on some ice, going off the bridge and crashing into a rock underwater. By the time that he came to, he wasn't able to do more than crawl out of the car before drowning. His body was found the next morning, and Ellis remained firmly in denial.
> 
> Without their combined income, Ellis couldn't afford their house--Rochelle offered to let him move in.
> 
> Ellis finished his education, but had a few run-ins with trespassing at the old house. The kid that lived there would sometimes call his number and pretend to be Nick, just to fuck with him. Despite that, the local school hired him as a teacher. He still never let go of his delusion, even on occasion alluding to other faculty that he was hoping to get engaged soon. Rochelle started covering for him by claiming to be his girlfriend.
> 
> Lisa is a Silent Hill cameo--Lisa Garland is a nurse that always has an unfortunate death in Silent Hill, typically bloody.
> 
> Ellis is 32 during therapy. He only knew Nick for three years. The rest was a fantasy that he's refused to let go of.
> 
> I never referenced who was in therapy: if you go back and place Ellis in those situations, each therapy session helps to give away the ending.


End file.
